Let the battle begin

A short posting on today's events:
    We arrived home in Akron late last night (after 11 pm) from our wonderful trip to Seattle (more on that in a later post) and hit the ground running with FIVE different appointments up at Hershey. It was tough going from a week of enjoying the moment in Seattle to a long day of dealing with cancer crap.
    It included signing two lengthy consent forms (radio and chemo therapy) which list all the horrible possible outcomes. Silly me, actually reading these forms. I should have used my Internet iTunes and online banking agreements approach and just signed the damn things. Online, I usually just click on the "agree" box without reading all the "fine print". (As I am sure you all do.)
    The first procedure I had this morning was radiation mapping. I laid in a moving platform that went through a CTscan-like "donut" with some laser-type beams on my front side to mark my position for radiation therapy which will start Jan. 23 and continue for 5-1/2 weeks. They tattooed me in three places to keep me in line. From this mapping info the radiology team will develop a treatment "program" that will allow the pancreas to receive the most radiation while hopefully limiting any radiation to my good tissue and organs. The radiotherapy team will also factor my breathing, and how it moves my organs, into the treatment. The music on the radio in the room had annoying heavy beat pop music which did nothing to calm me down. I kicked myself for not asking them to turn it off or switch to Yanni or something like that (gag)
    Next stop was for some blood tests ordered in advance of starting chemotherapy - liver function, cancer markers, etc.
    My third stop was to have another CTscan to provide a benchmark to track my chem/radio therapy progress.  My previous CTscan was seven weeks ago. I was curious about any change in the mass. I was heartened by a phone call from Dr. Yee this evening that there was no change in its size or scope!!! I call that good news. Thankfully, this time I didn't have to drink 60 oz of bad tasting water with contrast chemicals within a one hour period.
    The fourth appt was with Dr. Yee. He went over the treatment plan and answered Barb's and my questions. It was here that I learned that my platelet count was quite low - 100,000. He said it was also low at my last blood test. We are stumped by this and don't have an explanation. He said it is not too low to start chemo, but borderline, and will be watched closely as the chemo will also kill healthy blood cells, including red, white and platelets. If the platelet count goes below 50,000 chemo would be halted.
    The last stop was the one I least wanted ... to have my first infusion of gemcitabine (generic), marketed as Gemzar by Eli Lilly. I am frankly fearful of this stuff. I saw how chemo affected Barb and believe me, it takes some extra "positive thinking" to face chemo. This is scheduled to happen every Friday for the next nine weeks. It went OK ... I guess. It doesn't hurt. I felt fine after having it. But I was told the nadir of treatment is 10-14 days after the infusion. The most common side effects are nausea and vomiting. What fun! They gave me anti-nausea pills and an RX for some to keep nausea in check. Earlier this evening I had a bad case of diarrhea and a nasty headache. Whether this is chemo caused or just "jet lag" I don't know.
    Last night after midnight and today I opened the many cards and emails you wonderful people had sent me, which arrived while gone, and I just got all verklempt and cried. Such touching, kind things you have written and said. Thank you for helping me deal with the real.