It's that time of the year

Merry Christmas to you and me!

It's beginning to look alot like Christmas ….

I am so happy to still be around for Christmas 2013 and seeing in the New Year 2014. I was never sure what to expect about being present for these holidays. My goal is to be around for several more.

Merry Christmas to me because it has been wonderful. This year we are hosting Schrag Christmas in Pennsylvania and enjoying the heck out of it!!!

Of course grandson Owen - who turned three months old on Sunday - is the center of our attention. Who cares about shoofly pie or horses and buggies or other Lancaster County traditions? We have the cutest, smartest baby in our midst. I am looking for a bumper sticker that says: "My 3-month-old grandson is an honor student". He will be going to Harvard University in just a few years. Right now, in fact, he is helping grandma Barb play Scrabble against uncle Charles while his mom and dad are in the kitchen cooking up a wild rice dish for Christmas dinner.

We've had alot of fun mixing cultures such as having scrapple McMuffins for breakfast; a new blending of Dutch and "English" (muffins). And Barb and Charles made yummy lefsa for a nice Scandinavian touch.

Grandma and Owen "conversing"

The Family is Happy!

Ricky's dome. Off chemo for five weeks,  I gave my Gillette Mach 3 a rest
and presented myself as a gift to my family as a Chia Pet: Chia Ricky.

With no chemo infusions for the past five weeks I am feeling great. My appetite is very good. I have no diet restrictions and just keep popping the Creon enzyme pills to help with digestion. My weight is stable. I attribute my avoidance of any colds and flu largely to the fact that I get plenty of rest and drink lots of fluids. As someone with pancreatic cancer I couldn't ask to be feeling any better. I will start chemo again on Thursday, December 26. :-(    Oh well, I have to keep on top of fighting this unwelcome guest.

I have been posting less than I probably should but am very aware of the importance of letting you know my status. In an earlier post I mentioned that writing a blog is not my favorite activity, but am so thankful that I can connect with you this way and will not abandon it. I realize how much I am blessed by it and how important it is to me on several levels.

Next to God Incarnate the greatest gift I have this Christmas is your encouragement, prayers and expressions of concern and love. Come to think of it … your gifts ARE God Incarnate!!!! What was I thinking? I only wish there was some way to give you all gifts as meaningful and special in return!

My wish is that each of you are having as great a sleigh ride as I am.

For now Barb and I and family wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and Peace in the New Year.

Two years and counting

Dear faithful followers,
Greetings from your delinquent blogger.
I've waited for some time to give you my "quarterly" report. It is time to tell you that I am

             … happy …. no,
                  …  euphoric …
                      … amped…
                          … pumped …
                                … stoked …

[pick and add the modern vernacular noun of your choice]

about my most recent (Nov. 13) CTscan results: the tumor is stable! No activity. It is the same size. No metastasis. No sign of rebel terrorist cancer cells attacking some other part of my body. I am just plain "pleased as punch" (to quote Hubert Humphrey).

Dr. Yee orders CTscans every 90 days (hence "quarterly reports") and they just keep rolling in on the positive side. What great news for me. It is a most pleasant cycle of reports which I hope will keep on keeping on.

Two years ago this coming Tuesday before Thanksgiving I got the phone call from my PCP that I had a mass on my pancreas. Almost instantly a thick heavy cloud came over me. I mean it was very dark below this hanging cloud with very little light coming through. I knew in my mind that the sun was still shining on the other side of the low, dense cloud - but for a few days I saw very little light. I didn't get the actual "official" cancer diagnosis until December 2011, but I was never very hopeful that the test would show a cancer-free mass on the pancreas. I had never heard of a mass on the pancreas NOT being cancerous.

Amazingly, miraculously over the past two years the cloud has lifted and thinned and broken up into much smaller fluffy clouds. This past week the skies have been clear with the sun shining brightly.

Along with the fabulous "pictures" of my gut came a good lab report on the blood serum cancer test CA19-9. Here are my most recent results. The lower the number, the better the report. Notice the downward trend. Yippeeee!

116.6 unit/mL Date Nov. 20, 2013 - High 

134.8 unit/mL Date Nov. 11, 2013 - High 

172.4 unit/mL Date Oct. 30, 2013 - High 

174.5 unit/mL Date Oct. 23, 2013 - High 

181.8 unit/mL Date Oct. 16, 2013 - High 

After some complaining by me about the side effects of chemo, Dr Yee agreed to change my treatments from once a week — three weeks on, one week off — to:  two weeks on, two weeks off. I have just finished my first two weeks on and will not go back for chemo until Dec. 11 and 18. My chemo is on Wednesdays in Hershey, PA, at the Penn State Cancer Institute.

Over the two years I have found and collected several "cancer" blogs/CaringBridge journals, etc. and created my own folder bookmarked on my browser titled "cancer blogs". That in itself is a rather sad, dark story. But, naturally, through these blogs we who have been stricken with cancer can follow each others journeys and give each other encouragement and I find encouragement in reading them.

Writing a blog is not easy for me and honestly not that much fun. I resonated with the feeling shared by a fellow cancer blogger who wrote that if he had known he was going to live this long he would not have started blogging so soon!!

But, I AM happy to share great news and, when it comes, will share the sad news as well. 

Non-cancer news would be that Barb and I took a day trip to New York City yesterday to see the 2 pm performance of the off-broadway play "The Preacher and the Shrink". It was written by Merle Good, a Lancaster County Mennonite whose wife Phyllis Pellman Good wrote the "Fix It and Forget It" slow cooker cookbooks and own/operate several businesses in Intercourse. We joined a group of 54 other countians on a chartered bus. The play offers much food for thought regarding relationship and religion.

We had a great visit by South Dakotans Marlyce Miller and Janette Epp last weekend. (Thanks for the Freeman bologna, Dimock colby cheese, pepper nuts and other goodies, girls!)

We are planning on having some guests for Thanksgiving and look forward to serving up a traditional dinner. 

We both keep plenty busy. Barb especially with her work and home projects has a very full plate. Obviously, we have much to be grateful for. I am especially thankful for the many ways you bear me up.

We send all of you warmest Thanksgiving greetings and may you find happiness in the bounty of nature and your lives. 

Ceasefire ends tomorrow

I've had a nice respite from chemotherapy warfare. Wednesday my 30-day chemo fast ends.

My battle against pancreatic cancer will resume tomorrow when a new battalion of Abraxane soldiers will be deployed. These recruits will immediately start cursing through my veins yelling "get the hell out of here you damn cancer cells" ... wait ... should that have been "coursing or coarsing" thru my veins"? ... oh well.

I will be journeying up to Hershey to meet with my general, Dr. Nelson Yee, who has fresh new troops ready for action waiting in a room near a chemo chair which is waiting for me. They have been trained to make John Kerry/Obama-esque "surgical strikes" against nasty fast-growing cancer cells. (BTW, will Putin get the Nobel Peace Prize this year?) These young soldiers' missiles do occasionally miss a few C-cells and accidentally attack hair, nail, tears, nose/mouth linings and the brain.

Dr. Nelson Yee, my oncologist aka General Yee
at Hershey Penn State Cancer Institute. Check him out on You-tube.

So ... just when my hair is starting to grow again and my nails are nearly perfect and my head is mostly "out of the fog" I will start a fourth 4-week engagement deploying Abraxene soldiers. The campaign must continue because I want to see some more birthdays. Not just my own, but my grandson's as well. Look. Pictures.

Mommy Annie, dog sibling Patton, grandpa, grandma, very special child, daddy and uncle Charles.
(all slightly off-kilter - too lazy to straighten photo)

Early Sunday morning I returned from a wonderful week with family in sunny central valley of California. Barb is staying an extra week to help the new parents who are doing just great but are busy taking it all in.

Proud and happy grandpa holding Owen at about three weeks old.

Happy and proud grandma enjoying Owen.

It was so great to see the little guy and with some careful planning I totally avoided being hit by spit ups and diaper changes. Not that I wouldn't have handled those well! Just saying...

Sometimes I think of chemo acting like mole smashers .. whacking those out-of-whack, out-of control incompetent stupid idiotic cancer cells over the head. Have you ever played the smash mole game at the fair?

A thought just crossed my mind that "mole whacking" should be tried on the Democrats and spineless Republicans in the US congress as well. For me Obama's words at the food pantry yesterday sum it up best: "There are going to be differences between the parties. There are going to be differences in terms of budget priorities. But we don't need to inflict pain on the American people or risk the possibility that America's full faith and credit will be damaged just because one side is not getting its way." Hmmm. Really? ... one side is not getting its way... Is he talking about himself here?

This clever little skit hit home for me:





But I digress.

I continue to welcome your support and prayers for strength to be able to handle the side effects as I start another chemo feast and fight against cancer.

O Happy Days!!

The past few weeks have been very exhilarating.
Here is my partial list of reasons:

• Entered Grandpa-land

Owen Putnam Schrag

The Orlando and Verda branch of the Schrag family tree has sprouted a new branch!
In case you didn't already know — Sunday, Sept. 22 we welcomed our first grandchild into this world: Owen Putnam Schrag. He was born to Adam and Annie in Fresno, California. Barb and I are very excited and proud. We can't wait to see, feel, touch, smell him! That will happen from Oct. 4 to Oct 12 for me with Barb extending her visit until Oct. 19 as she is eager to help the young parents with baby care.

Over the years I often thought that my name combined with "grandpa" sounded contradictory or clashed. My name — Ricky — is very casual/unsophisticated/light sounding. "Grandpa" is mature sounding. But now that I have become "Grandpa Ricky" I am just fine with it!!! I realize I may not be grandpa but could end up with one of these titles or maybe something entirely new. Who knows.

He's a hairy little feller

gramps
papa
umpa
poppy
pop
opa
bompa
bumpy
grumpy
grampa
grandpa

Baby, mom and dad are doing well. Owen's other grandma, Cathy, from St. Cloud, MN, is visiting and helping now. We will tag team with her this Saturday.

• Breaking Bad (Chemo vacay)

I completed three cycles of chemo on Sept. 11. I was becoming rather weary and worn down by it. The Abraxane zapped me pretty hard and had a cumulative effect over the 12 weeks I was on it. Fatigue and a general feeling like I was in a "fog" was the main problem. Any project or chore I wanted to do seemed to take twice as long to complete! What should have taken half an hour to do took an hour - maybe two!!

I emailed Dr. Yee to ask if he thought it would be okay to take a chemo break since we are planning a trip to California and I wanted to have more energy and give my body a chance to heal. He said that would be fine. Yippee! So I have been slowly "coming out of the fog" as the effects of chemo gradually wane. It's great.

• Tumor marker descends

In related exciting news my blood tumor marker fell below 100 to 95.5! This also pleased Dr. Yee and helped in the decision to take the chemo vacation.

• Fall

The cooler, drier air is most welcome. I love it. Open up the windows. Get under the covers.

• Wonderful weekends

After spending much of the summer at home, Barb and I have recently gone on several very pleasant weekend excursions:

Labor Day weekend we enjoyed Harpers Ferry, WV

We had a wonderful day trip to worship and tour Washington National Cathedral (post card photo)
with Mary Martens and Sharon Nelson.

Spent a pleasurable Sunday afternoon and evening at The Vineyard at Grandview near  Mt. Joy
with music by Stray Birds and Vinegar Creek Constituency. Yes, wine was for sale and imbibed.
Thank you Torrie Martin and Dennis Maust for the great company

The Vineyard at Grandview is a beautiful setting.

• Trip to visit family, friends

Flying out to San Francisco Oct. 4 and meeting son Charles there flying in from Seattle, renting a car and driving to Fresno to stay for about 10 days. Anxious to meet Owen and visit new parents Adam and Annie, dog Patton, and the Janzens as well as others.

• Bumper candy corn crop

Ample rain and ideal weather conditions this year have resulted in a 2013 candy corn crop bonanza!! The grocery store shelves are bursting forth with yellow, orange and white!! It's a beautiful thing. The candy pumpkin crop looks very promising as well. I may try to bake a candy pumpkin pie. But chicken candy corn noodle soup does not sound very good.

That's it for now. Thanks for your interest in my life. I am thankful for all you great friends.

A winning combination ...

A very real, winning combination — chemo and your intercessions.

I got some good news today. The CTscan taken on Monday shows the mass on my pancreas is stable. It is virtually unchanged from three months ago and not sending out any "strands" of cancer..... AANNDDDD ... the tumor blood marker is dropping.

How is this possible? ... thousands of dollars worth of chemo and your prayers. Thank you.

I've been a firm believer in the power of intercessory prayer for some time. And now I've become fully convinced that chemotherapy works. It's been proven to me by my situation. The fact that the tumor remains stable after this long is proof to me. Not that I ever really doubted that it does some good. My question was "how much does it help?" My oncologist, of course, has always had a good share of confidence in his cocktail prescriptions, but even he has never been cocky about it or made any claims of success, realizing that different people have different results.

Immediately following today's consult with Dr. Yee I went to the infusion room and started my third cycle of Abraxane — once a week for three weeks and then one week off.

I have some mild side effects but nothing too serious. It does take some zip out of me. So I just keep resting when I get tired. I also have frequent runny nose - lots of Kleenex. Frequent diarrhea. Partially from a compromised pancreas and partially from chemo. Not sure of the proportions. I also still experience occasional neuropathy.

The doctor was pleased with this downward trend in my blood tumor marker. So are we.

Now for more news of the absurd.

The very same minor league AAA baseball team that installed gaming urinals in their ball park mens restrooms recently had a free funeral package giveaway!!!

I was not the lucky winner. I don't have the long-term storage available that the casket would have required. (Just kidding. I never entered this contest.)

Here is the article that was in our local Lancaster Intelligencer/NewEra newspaper.

Lehigh Valley IronPigs putting fun in funeral;

team giving away casket, service and tombstone

The Associated Press
on August 19, 2013 at 10:09 PM

ALLENTOWN, Pa. -- From the minor-league baseball club that gave you the world's first urinal gaming system comes a promotion that's more 6 feet under than it is over the top: One "lucky" fan will win a free funeral package.

The Triple A affiliate of the Philadelphia Phillies, the Lehigh Valley IronPigs, plans to announce the winner of its latest, and perhaps most bizarre, fan giveaway at Tuesday night's game in Allentown.

Minor-league clubs are notorious for the wacky promotions they run to help put fans in the seats, and the IronPigs are no exception. Earlier this year, the team boasted about the new gaming system it had installed in men's restrooms at Coca-Cola Park.

But a free funeral? Talk about burying the competition.

"It's one of our best out-of-the-box promotions. Or maybe I should say one of our best 'in-the-box' promotions," quipped IronPigs General Manager Kurt Landes.

Fans had to submit an essay describing their ideal funeral and explain why they deserved a free one. More than 50 essays were turned in.

Some of the contestants took a lighthearted approach. A fan of movie Westerns wrote how his funeral would feature the "William Tell Overture" and a photo of the Lone Ranger. A woman joked that she wanted bouncers to remove mourners who weren't sufficiently mournful.

Others were far more serious. One fan, recently diagnosed with ALS, wrote how his family is watching his "life quickly draining from my body. No one was prepared, emotionally or financially, for the loss or to prepare a final memorial."

The winner of the essay contest, to be announced during the sixth inning, gets a casket, embalming or cremation, hearse, headstone, flowers and a funeral or memorial service, all valued at nearly $10,000. A nearby funeral home is the sponsor.

Lest they be accused of poor taste, the IronPigs have opted to call Tuesday night's giveaway "Celebration of Life Night." Grim reapers and tombstones are out, angelic music and a release of doves at home plate in.

"It won't become Halloween," Landes said.

.... what next? Stay tuned...

Rick

Mr. Clean has nothing on me ...

... well ... unless you include Mr. Clean's earring and bushy white eyebrows. (I have no plans for an earring right now and the bushy eyebrows "ain't gonna happen" anytime soon.)

Neither do Jesse "The Body" Ventura, Dalai Lama or Walter White! (apologies to readers unfamiliar with Mr White — a high school chemistry teacher stricken with lung cancer in the dark TV series "Breaking Bad" who cooks meth to amass wealth to support his family after he dies).

And you can add Howie Mandel, Yul Brynner, Paul Shaffer and Bruce Willis to the list of chrome domes that I just may surpass in good looks. (Maybe only "inner" beauty ... well, no ... Paul Shaffer? ... Howie Mandel? ... no contest. I win.)

Yes, my second visible physical sign of having pancreatic cancer has appeared. Weight loss was the first physical sign. But not as recognizable as "cancer" by the public.

The hair loss from my new Abraxene chemotherapy started about two weeks ago. Initially with more hair in the shower/tub drain. But I knew something was up because my hair became very "dead" feeling ... dry, brittle, etc. Then it was all over my shoulders. And on the pillow. And my clothes. And the towel. And the floor.  It was very messy. I was able to pull it out in clumps and knew it was time to get shorn.

Clipper and clippers poised. (Barb looks a little over-anxious here I think.)

Barb had the same experience twice during her cancer/chemo battles and I knew the course of action. Always willing to help, she offered to do the honors.

Always a cool head, Saturday, July 19, I became an even cooler head!!!

There was concern that I may have an ugly shaped head and would be an embarrassment, but alas, it was not to be. A friend, Torrie, who witnessed the shearing said I had a nice head. I, of course, thought she was just being polite. But even Barb said I had a nice shaped head. And she would not lie to me. I went to the mirror and BEHOLD. They were both right. I didn't have to wear hats in summer!

After a miserable night of sleeping with the bristle/stubs left by the clippers Barb finished the job Sunday morning with a smooth creamy Gillette shave. No blood was lost.

Step one complete... a beautifully shaped head is revealed!!

The immediate feeling was that of coolness ... evaporation off the noggin.

I had virtually no emotional pain or trauma associated with this procedure. For most men this is not a big deal. Naturally, for women it is much more difficult. I mean ... Sinead O'Connor ... really???

Then to give me encouragement and help me handle all this, Torrie gave me a magazine article about research which found that "men with shaved heads look 10% stronger than those with hair". This from the University of Pennsylvania Wharton School! "Fellas rockin' a shorn scalp were perceived to be more dominant than their hirsute counterparts", the article continues.

AND ... "despite the inevitable if slight height disadvantage, those lacking locks were viewed as nearly an inch taller than the average mop-topped male."

That was all very welcome news to me.

I kept my mustache but it is getting thinner every day.

A shaved head is very freeing. Low maintenance. Zero shampoo expense. Faster showers. No combing. Less fuss.

I hate to admit it, but I continued to carry a comb in my back pocket most of last week. It's hard to break a 50-year-old habit. It dawned on me on Thursday that I wouldn't be needing it for the time being.

One strange phenomena: You've heard of amputees who have phantom limbs. Well, I have phantom hair. I still wake up in the morning with the feeling that I have bad "bed head". You know... hair bent the opposite way you want it. Then a peek in mirror reminds me that all is well in the vanity department.

I have completely nauseated myself with these boastful musings and assume you have been equally repulsed.

But thanks for reading.

Riding the Chemo Coaster

How are Ricky and Barb doing? ...

We keep rolling!

I am nearly half way through my new 8-week chemo regimen. I waited a few weeks to report to see how I was going to react. The chemo seems to have cumulative effect with adverse reactions piling on each week. Abraxane is the drug. Infusions are weekly. Three weeks on, one week off and repeating three on, one off for a total of eight weeks.

Next week is my "off" week and I am looking forward to that. My next CT scan and CA19-9 blood test to check for "activity" will be at the end of the eight weeks in late August.

I am feeling okay, but am having more severe side effects than with the oral chemo I was taking. Today I took two naps ... after sleeping 8 hours last night!! I tire easily and have a general feeling of weakness. Also, two days ago my hair started coming out in clumps. I haven't clipped it, thinking maybe the week off will give me some reprieve, but I will likely be sporting a hairless head in the near future. I hope that at the very least my ear hair tufts and nose hair fall out!!! Also, my old man wild super-long neck hairs. But NO! So far they are holding tight.

My neutrophil count (baby white blood cells) has been hammered by Abraxane. This week I had to go back to Hershey a day after chemo for a Neulasta injection to help stimulate my bone marrow to develop stem cells. I had this $7,000 injection earlier when I was having Gemzar infusions. I like having a high white cell count. Especially the young infection warriors.

I have created an interactive element in this post to help engage the reader:

Qhemo Quiz

A little medical term lesson for readers that aren't nurses or doctors. Without cheating (i.e. using the Internet), match the chemo adverse reactions on the left with the symptoms/descriptions on the right. I have in the past or am presently experiencing those with the ✓:

  1. (   ) neutropenia✓                                     a) muscle pain
  2. (   ) neuropathy✓                                     b) hand-foot syndrome
  3. (   ) asthenia✓                                          c) shedding skin
  4. (   ) diarrhea✓                                          d) reduced red blood count, weakness
  5. (   ) nausea✓                                            e) memory loss, impaired cognitive thinking
  6. (   ) alopecia✓                                          f) reduced baby white blood cell count
  7. (   ) myalgia                                             g) loose bowels
  8. (   ) ocularanalitis✓ (only briefly)            h) hair loss

            (optic and anal sphincter nerves crossfire)

  9. (   ) anemia                                               i) nerve damage and pain
10. (   ) mucositis                                           j) shitty outlook on life
11. (   ) acral erythema✓                               k) weakness, dizziness, fatigue
12. (   ) chemobrain✓                                    l) queasiness, motion sickness
13. (   ) desquamation✓                                m) mouth sores

As you can see, I have not had ALL the bad stuff!! While I have had a nice variety, fortunately none of them have been too severe. What a privilege to have so many of these important-sounding conditions!!! I'm sure you are jealous.

Otherwise, the long heat wave and fatigue are keeping me indoors. I have a few outdoor projects that are waiting for milder temps. I DO go outside to use my Big Green Egg cooker though. My appetite is intact.

Not much else on the radar right now. We need to plan some outings/trips depending on my energy level. Barb has been working very hard and going with me to Hershey for all appointments. That is so nice. She always has about ten projects going at once to keep her occupied. The garden harvest is bountiful. She is a great partner. I love her. I hope and pray she stays well.

 thanks for reading. thanks for your kindness and concern. thanks for your support. 

Answers to Qhemo Quiz:

1(f); 2(i); 3(k); 4(g); 5(l); 6(h); 7(a); 8(j); 9(d); 10(m); 11(b); 12(e); 13(c)

Not so happy return

Barb and I had a wonderful 10 days away to Idaho and then a road trip to South Dakota June 6-15 with our family. We spent a few days in downtown Boise, took a bike ride along the greenway, enjoyed the betrothal of our nephew, Eian Schrag to Heather Smith and met her family. Also had two great meals at my cousin Flora and husband Bill's beautiful home on Warm Springs Avenue. We also saw/visited Barb's brother, Mike Baird, and family.

From Boise we took a 3-day road trip to South Dakota to visit my mom and other family and friends. Our first night was in Green River, Wyoming. The town that first enacted (1931) an ordinance regulating door-to-door peddlers, known as the Green River Ordinance.

Near Green River, Wyoming, the Schrags take a break from looking for wild horses to pose for a breezy, big sky, timed photo off the hood of the car. l-r, we are: Annie Schmidt, husband Adam Schrag, dog, Patton, from Fresno, CA, myself and Barb and younger son, Charles from Seattle.

Our next stop was beautiful Spearfish Canyon near Spearfish, SD where we stayed at some cabins right up the canyon. We hiked to Roughlock Falls and were amazed at all the walkways and viewing platforms built after Homestake Mine donated the land to the state. When I was last there umpteen years ago you could walk across parts of the stream or go down creekside.

Spearfish Canyon in the Black Hills of South Dakota.
Taken from near our cabin in the woods.

On to Freeman busy visiting numerous Freemanites. My brother, John, and wife Sara, from Santa Fe, NM, also came to Freeman. We had a blast w/excellent food and fellowship. I packed some chislic, Dimock fresh colby cheese and "Freeman bologna" to bring back to PA. Oh, yes, and some Twin Bing candy bars. Midwesterners know about them. We can't find Dorothy Lynch dressing here in PA, but I didn't pack any this trip.

Bridal Veil Falls in Spearfish Canyon

Altogether the trip has been the highlight of the summer.

Cancer update: The Monday after getting back I had bloodwork and an appointment with my oncologist, Dr. Yee. It turns out my blood tumor marker, CA19-9, crept up some more to 339.5. This was enough to trigger Dr. Yee into recommending (strongly, I might add) that I start a new chemo regimen: Abraxane via infusion. He is recommending 8 weeks with one infusion per week for three weeks and then one week off. Harumpf!!!  This was NOT encouraging news. I did cause me some anxiety. Neither Barb or I slept very well the night following this new development.

On the positive side, Abraxane is proving to be effective in treating cancer. It is fairly new on the scene and was originally used to treat breast cancer but has been found useful in treating other cancers including pancreatic and recently FDA approved it for lung cancer.

This Wednesday I go to Hershey medical center to have a porta-cath or medi-port thing placed under my clavicle to allow for blood tests and infusion without sticking me every time. My doc said the chemo was too hard on veins and tissue to infuse through a venipuncture in my arm. That was scary to hear.

Roughlock Falls in the Black Hills

Of course, my main concern is which side effects will I experience and how severe will they be. Neuropathy of the hands and feed seem to be a common theme. Bummer. But, who knows, I may not experience that, but will be vomiting instead. It's hard to know. My first infusion is Tuesday, July 2. Then two more Tuesdays up at Hershey Cancer Institute. Barb plans to drive me each time, but we will call for help if something comes up where she can't drive.

I was so happy to visit my mother, Verda, age 91, while in Freeman, SD.

One of the most annoying aspects of chemo infusion at Hershey when I had it earlier was the length of time it takes for the infusions to be completed. Every time I arrived on time, but never was seated within 5 minutes, but rather 30-45 minutes after the appt. time. And then I waited in the "recliner" (uncomfortable) to get stuck and then waited some more to get the chemo from the pharmacy and after the chemo runs out it seems to take so long to for a nurse to unhook. Also, the visiter/driver chairs provided are also very uncomfortable as is most all the furniture in the building. Hershey definitely needs to ramp up their service in the chemo infusion department/waiting rooms/exam rooms. We'll see. Maybe they have.

This graph shows the escalating CA 19-9 cancer tumor marker number. It kinda sucks.

Thank you for adding an extra short sentence for me in your next prayer as I plow into something new.

Another hurray!!!

Yesterday's visit with my oncologist, Dr. Yee, included great, fabulous, welcome, joyous, fantastic, hurray news: the CT scan says the tumor on my pancreas has not changed since 3 months ago AND the blood tumor marker (CA19-9) continued its zig-zag graph (see first image below) and went down slightly over the past three weeks.

So today I started my SEVENTH 3-week round of oral chemo Xeloda. I love that I can keep on keeping on! I'm hanging in there and very happy for it.

My blood tumor marker progress chart.
The lower the number, the better. 229 is considered  a "high" number,
 but the good news is that it is not going up.

It seems crazy but I have to share my CT scan final report with you... HIPPA-be-damned. I'm sharing information with the world about my guts!!!

I want you blog readers to help me understand these two pages. I was pleased to learn that I have "shotty aortopulmonary window paratracheal and subcarinal lymph nodes". After some "wiki time", I learned this actually is good news. It was sobering to read this and understand so little. Just give it a once over and try to absorb what's going on in my chest/abdomen. The best (and understandable) part is that the tumor is "essentially stable".

It is titled "chest CT" but did include my abdomen. 

"No new metastatic focus identified" was also happy news!

Here are my more recent favorite "escapes" from cancer/death thoughts:

Grilling baby back ribs on the Big Green Egg for church small group
AND Barb's MCC Donor Relations department party held this evening.

Listening to British folk-rocker Richard Thompson's latest CD "Electric".  Thompson writes some more sad, hard luck, lost love ballads which are not always uplifting, but very well written and the guitar playing is unsurpassed.
Yes, I am an old man and still buy CDs instead of listening to shitty mp3s. Life is too short to be listening to low-fi!!

My latest jazz fav is Oscar Peterson and this 2-disc CD is fantastic. It is a Telarc live recording.
A marvelous recital by a true master. Gorgeous music and gorgeous recording. (1996)
Oscar was 71 years old at the time. He had suffered a stroke in 1991 which affected his left side. I can tell from the recording he had to adjust his technique and the right hand is more prominent. Also, a remarkable collaboration with the other players with whom he had years of experience. Peterson died of kidney failure in 2008.

Thanks everyone for following my journey. I feel strong, have virtually no pain and am loving life. Keep on keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. Thank you very much!

Getting over the cold

 "Getting over the cold" has a double meaning.

First, warmer temps are here. And also a little moisture. Almost an inch of rain fell last night and it's drizzling today. The weeds are rampant in the garden. And the grass is lush. The rain knocked the last of many blossoms and those seed thingys off the trees.

Second meaning: With the aid of some adult-onset hay fever I came down with a spring cold earlier this week.  This was the first cold I've had since I learned I had a mass on my pancreas Thanksgiving week 2011! That is amazing to me. My normal cold contract was about two colds/year. Even w/chemo and some low blood counts I was able to dodge the cold and flu viruses. I have thanked God frequently that I haven't had a cold or flu for such a long time. This one wasn't too serious and I am responsibly nursing it. Still dealing with some drainage and occasional cough, I should be symptom-free in a couple of days. 

I attribute my flu/cold resistance to less stress and more rest. My kind wife, Barb, doesn't give my one ounce of grief when I spontaneously and unabashedly recline like Dagwood in my recliner or the sofa for a snooze. She said if taking naps helps keep me feeling like I do (which is very good, thank you), I should nap as much as I want. And sometimes they're long naps. It's like heaven! I wish we all could take naps when needed and didn't have to have cancer for a nap ticket. Plus I still sleep well at night. 

This week I did wake up with the obligatory crushed snotty Kleenex around me in bed. Ugh! I didn't miss any work but my understanding employer let me come in about four hours late on Thursday and they gave me the flexibility to work later and still cut only an hour or so off my schedule. I work approximately 36-37 hours a week in billing at Smilebuilderz in Lancaster. 

It's a plague around here: Sacred Bunnies

I look forward to next week because it is my chemo "off" week. This morning Barb and I went to the Landis Valley Herb & Garden Faire. I was overwhelmed by the exotic flowers and varieties of bedding plants. As I recall a few years back when we bought basil, there maybe two kinds. Now? Crazy with types of basil. Barb picked up a few more plants. Luckily, there was no kale to be found. Her garden is flourishing. Rhubarb, radishes and lettuce are ready. Sadly, no asparagus here. I hope you South Dakotans enjoy an abundant crop.


I leave you with some photos and Happy Day to all Mothers!

This is our back yard. A maple and dogwood are sharing space — and admirably so I'd say.
Barb is collecting grass clippings to throw over wet newspapers between garden rows.
She is a very ambitious, creative, and experimental gardener. It entertains me and I enjoy the end results.

These orange beauties are part of hanging plant we purchased today and set outside our front door.

Gerbera daisies outside our "back" door.

Our neighbor's pink azaleas. There are some awesome red bushes around town (Akron, PA).

The bees are having a heyday.

A short snort ...

Oink, oink, oink!

That's just a sampling of the profound team cheers and encouragement shouts flashing on the jumbo screen on the big scoreboard at last night's IronPigs vs. Indians game. "Let's go pigs!" was another. (I was slightly disappointed at the absence of "suey, suey" though.)

I am certain many of your are eager to hear more about the lowbrow news I shared on my last post. Here goes:

After being sucked in by the "news" of gaming urinals in the mens restrooms at Coca-Cola Park in Allentown, PA, yesterday H.A. Penner and I took a trip to see an IronPigs baseball game and see if we were maybe duped by the circa April 1 (April fools day) story of video games played using a stream of pee to "test ones knowledge and skill".

I will not dwell on the urinal game, except to say we confirmed they do exist and function. As I am uncomfortable using a camera in a restroom, the only picture I offer is this from the website:

Of the seven or eight urinals along the wall only one had the video game. Not sure why. Maybe in a "testing" introductory time. Briefly, the urinal has three targets: 'start', 'yes' and 'no'. After "hitting" the 'start' target true and false questions appear on the screen.

It was interesting to observe first time users, like me, so conditioned to use fingers on a touch screen trying to start the game with touching the screen for a while until figuring out touching the screen does not work. Hence, they advertise "hands free". Hands should be elsewhere.

I missed this question "Is it true the Titanic was built in Dublin?" I guessed 'yes' and scored a 0. It was built in Belfast.

This response from a blog reader and friend to my last post sums it up best: "What! 
are 11-year old boys running the marketing departments these days???" Methinks they are. I ask your understanding and forgiveness in allowing me to be an 11-year-old and succumbing to this marketing ploy. I admit I would not have gone to the game, if not for my curiosity.

In fact, it was a beautiful sunny day and an excellent well-played game with the IronPigs victorious over the Indianapolis Indians 3-2 in 13 innings. Both are Triple-A minor league farm teams which means they are the team a major league team uses to "bring up" and "send down" players depending on their performance. The IronPigs are the Philadelphia Phillies farm team and the Indians are the Pittsburgh Pirates farm team. The Lehigh Valley IronPigs have greater credibility as a "farm" team, don't you think? (pigs, farm. Get it?)

Notice the ticket price was $10. Very reasonable for these seats:

Also, I bought a Corona for $3. I was blown away by beer that cheap at a baseball game. The food I had was typical and nothing outstanding but also quite reasonable.

Allentown is one of a three-city metropolitan area which includes Bethlehem and Easton, Penn — 90 miles from New York City. Allentown is PA's third largest city behind Philadelphia and Pittsburgh.

The team name stems from the industrial era when the steel industry was huge there. Pig iron is a term for iron which is in an intermediate state in the smelting process. But what is interesting/ironic is that all the whoopla at the game was about pigs, hogs, swine and not iron which is what the region was noted for. One of the players is dubbed "the Sultan of Swine". I suspect most of those attending don't know much about pigs and have probably never held one.

The caliber of the players is very high. Almost half the IronPigs have played for the Phillies. Pitching was outstanding. It is a great venue and we had alot of fun.

On the drive home H.A. and I enjoyed reminiscing about what it was like on the farm during haying time: hay mows, slings, dump rakes, hay racks, elevating bales into a barn, balers, knotters and what it was like to work alongside our fathers and siblings inside haylofts, on the tractors, etc.

H.A. Penner and I enjoying the game

This gave impetus to add a new local museum to my bucket list: The New Holland Area Historical Society Museum. The New Holland Machine Company was started by a Mennonite man in 1895 and became known around the world for its hay equipment.

Nothing new to report on the cancer. I am in the middle of an oral chemo round and my side effects issues are the same — no worse, and no better. I have been enjoying the lovely spring days and flora and fauna that Barb and my home states' have yet to experience, at least with any frequency. Barb's brother was ice-fishing on Cass Lake yesterday and says the ice is still 20 inches thick!!! Summer solstice is only a little over a month away. That's all for now. I hope each of you feels as blessed as I feel blessed.

still doing well

Once again, I am very pleased - actually exuberant - to report that I am feeling quite well and living with virtually no pain or discomfort. While I don't have any high energy, exciting stories to tell right now, day-to-day life has been suiting me just fine. Happy to be here. Spring has sprung. The dogwoods, magnolias, forsythia, cherry and numerous other plentiful floral trees here in Pennsylvania are showing off. Tulips and daffodils too. Birds are in song. The full moon at 6:00 am this morning was huge and wonderous.

My blood panel this week did show a slightly higher CA19-9 blood tumor marker of 248. But my cancer doctor wasn't too alarmed. Last month it was 192. He pointed out that the number has been going up and down but not successively up. (see the chart in my last post). So he asked me to stay on my current oral chemo regimen of two weeks swallowing pills and one week of "rest". My current rest week ends today and tomorrow I'll start another 14 days. This will be my sixth round on the oral "chemo coaster".

I will have another CT scan May 20 to see if the mass has changed in any way. And the obligatory blood test as well. The doctor told me that if things start changing he wants me to go back on a new, stronger chemo cocktail of Gemzar and Abraxane. I think of the Xeloda pills I'm taking now as "Chemo Lite". The Gemzar, you may recall, really went after my bone marrow and destroyed/lowered the important platelet and white cell blood counts. Dr. Yee told me about a Partial Splenic Embolization procedure he would like to do to keep those counts up during "Chemo Heavy". I won't go into any detail about that procedure because we're not doing that and hopefully never will. Google it if you like.

IN OTHER NEWS: Highbrow and Lowbrow.

Highbrow: Barb and I enjoyed our trip to hear the Freeman Academy choir and other Mennonite school choirs at the annual MSC choir festival in Souderton, Pa on Sunday, April 14. The Singing Bobcats did us proud. Nice work. We heard them sing in their host Church - Indian Valley Faith Fellowship - Sunday morning. The guys sang one song. The girls sang another. And together they sang a couple more songs. Very nice acoustic so it was a pleasure to listen. 

We had dinner with our good friends Bonnie and Dave Moyer of Souderton. In the afternoon we went to Souderton High School for the festival program. Host school Christopher Dock does not have a theatre big enough to accommodate the 500-voice mass choir. It was a very diverse program with the choir from each of the 15 schools singing one number. The concert culminated with the mass choir which sounded better than any mass choir I have ever heard. 

We had nice visits with director Amy Vetch Hofer and chaperone Cindy Graber. Unfortunately we missed Pam Tieszen who was with a choir member that needed hospitalization after a soccer goal fell on the side of his face. During intermission I was totally surprised when Mory Ortman came up to greet me in the hall. He was visiting in Philly over the weekend and stopped in to hear the choirs as well. That was fun. It was a great day.

Lowbrow: I have added a new destination to my list of places I'd like to visit this summer. Last year, my friend, H.A. Penner, (who faced cancer of the prostate and is now "in the clear") and I took an enjoyable trip to Boston and watched the Red Sox play in Fenway Park. Well ... after reading about a new activity introduced this year at Coca-Cola Baseball Park in Allentown, PA (60 miles from Akron), we agreed we would both like to go see a Lehigh Valley IronPigs ball game. The new fan activity — a Urinal Gaming System — was featured in an article in the local Lancaster Intelligencer daily newspaper. It was also selected to be included in the "Sign of the Apocalypse" feature in Sport Illustrated magazine.

I have to admit that while learning that I have pancreatic cancer and thinking more about my mortality, I have occasionally thought .... "well, the world is going to hell anyway ... maybe this is a good time to 'get out of here' ". Yeah, I tend to interpret many things as signs of an upcoming apocalypse. Sometimes I get negative. Ask Barb. It's a bad trait and I do try to stay positive. I really do. I am confident the human race is resilient and will "pull through" this "medieval" high information/low knowledge, barbaric Dark Age we are now experiencing.

This new gaming technology certainly qualifies as a sign of the end times. Of all the inane minor league marketing gimmicks (including "Condom Night") this has to be one of the best "worst" ideas ever. Or, maybe, the worst "best" idea ever. Not sure. Regardless, it is very important that I experience this new entertainment attraction which Coca-Cola Park touts as being the first ball park to feature a Urinal Gaming System. Like this could actually catch on and become commonplace!!! God help us all!!!

The linked article says it's "hands free". How's THAT going to work??? Seriously. Why say hands free? I have to find out. I may want to bring a splash guard. I never was any good at video games and if stream pressure/power is important here, I will need a handicap. This also may give new meaning to the video game term "joystick controller".  I hope there is no "touch screen". I don't know. Inquiring minds want to know. The more Coke you drink, the more you play. Insidious, greedy corporate America will go to any length to sell more product.

So, sometime this summer H.A. and I hope to test our "ability and knowledge" at CCP in Allentown.

That's all for now. Thank you everyone for your encouraging emails, phone calls, cards and other shared comments. I am quite surprised and very happy to be where I am, considering the prognosis of the disease. Your support helps.