Wednesday, January 29, 2014

On leaving "Vandom"

Saying goodbye to the blue van.

or

"Out with the old. In with the new."

Last Saturday Barb and I drove our trusty blue Toyota Sienna minivan into the sunset — both literally and figuratively.

After owning and driving a Toyota minivan for the last 22 years it was a difficult and emotional "goodbye" while cleaning our stuff out of "her" after trading "her" in at a Toyota dealership in Lancaster city ... west of here.

Our love affair with Toyota vans started in 1991 when we purchased a used late 1980s silver one with the engine between the front seats from Leonard Wiens at Wiens Auto Mart. Barb recalls we bought it in preparation for a vacation trip to Yellowstone Nat'l Park with Elle when she was an IVEPer (International Visitor Exchange Program) at the Et Cetera Shoppe in Freeman. I affectionately nicknamed it the "Aardvark". Somehow it seemed equally as odd as the animal and the name popped into my head.

We drove the wheels off that van. Hauling soccer kids all over the country. Loading it to bumper-to-bumper and floor-to-ceiling with SelfHelp (now Ten Thousand Villages) items for offsite sales. It was an unusual designed vehicle and fun to drive with the front seats right on top of the front axle.

The "Aardvark" looked something like this.

Shortly after the silver one "died" in a traffic accident we went shopping for another van. Barb and I bought the slightly used blue 2002 Sienna rather impetuously Jan. 3, 2004 from the Toyota dealer in Sioux Falls. We hardly looked around. I pushed to buy and Barb was having difficulty breathing from being so scared about spending (read: borrowing) the amount of money we needed to buy the van. I (and a salesman who used scarcity to pressure us) prevailed. I will never forget another couple really wanted to drive it while we were "thinking" about it.

We never looked back. That van, as well, served us very well and Barb could haul lumber in it and Barb did haul lumber in it. We hauled all kinds of shit in it. Bicycles. Kids. College dorm rooms. We took the rear seats out and hauled furniture all around Newton, Kansas to set up an MCC office one time. Barb loaded it to the roof when she moved to Akron. We stuffed things into that van that I swore wouldn't fit in it.

I told Barb as we were wheeling and dealing on a new car last week that the van treated us very well and didn't owe us anything.

But "she" was getting into her senior years with 175,000 miles on "her". She still ran great and I recently paid $85 to fix a fussy and rattly side door. (I'm writing about the van here.. not Barb)

I've heard that we Americans have a psychological need to spend big bucks about twice year. We require these big consumer urges be satisfied for our well-being. Well, a wave of desire to spend (borrow) alot of money came over me and I was able to convince Barb it was time for a change in vehicles.

You see the mileage on the van was averaging 22 mpg. Also, the turning radius lock-to-lock was horrible. And that's not a good thing out here in the more congested East Coast. I thought: let's move up while it's still working well and has some value.

What to buy? That was difficult for us. Buying vehicles has never been my favorite activity. Barb maybe handles that better than I do. For me it is a "buy one and get it done" situation. Barb does tend to go into "shock" though when she becomes overwhelmed by the choices and then the big dollar figures. I handle that more coolly (on the surface, at least).

Since we loved vans and their cargo space and we had a cargo hitch for a bike rack too.... we were having problems deciding what to get next. With my "bucket list" dream of driving a luxury sedan, Barb had to grab the steering wheel to keep me from driving into the BMW and Mercedes dealerships and going off the deep end into debt. (After telling him about our car shopping, her boss quipped: "Barb, how could you deprive a dying man a BMW?")

We liked the cargo space and seat height of the van. We drove a Honda Accord but kept being drawn to something with more more room. We decided a brand new 2013 Toyota RAV4 — which is a compact SUV — fit the bill.

It has all-wheel drive. Sits high. Gets better gas mileage. Turns on a dime (which is really nice). Has a new windshield. Wow, I never realized how pitted our old one was. Drives nice. Had five miles on the odometer. Also had zero percent interest financing.

Our new vehicle (I can't really call it a "car") looks like this.
The new vehicle has some gadgets and wizardry that we didn't particularly want or need but the options were not plentiful - which - in hindsight - probably helped gravitate us to this car. From about seven 2013 models on hand with their only difference being exterior and interior color combinations, we picked the red one off the showroom floor because Barb really liked the interior color of coordinated gray and black. Barb and I have reassured each other that we are pleased with our decision and have no buyer's remorse but will hold the memories of our vans close.

Today, Barb drove me to Hershey, PA, in our new vehicle. I had a chemo infusion this morning. We were back by noon and, after eating lunch, I went to work for about six hours While the chemo does give me fatigue I don't get hit hard by it.

My blood tumor marker was 172; up a little from my last one of 164, but I don't see that as alarming in the larger scheme of things. All my other blood work looked good - white cells, platelets, kidney function, etc. so they accessed my medi-port (I DO NOT miss those venipunctures from the flexor aspect, or inside, of my elbows.)

Next on the agenda is a CT scan on Feb. 17 and visit about treatment with oncologist on Feb. 19 and I  presume chemo of some kind then. I am doing well. No pain. Enzyme pills help me digest food.

I can not overstate how thankful I am for the many ways all of you give me encouragement and support. It sustains me and makes my life so much better. Thanks!

Ricky






Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Glad to see 2014

When learning you have cancer, life becomes an "inch-by-inch" journey. Those inches add up to feet, yards and miles. (apologies to the rest of the world on the metric system. "centimeter by centimeter" doesn't have the same ring)

Embarking on a new year is like going a mile when your mortality is dangling in front of you. I am very happy to be here in 2014. 

After a wonderful glorious 5-week break from treatments, I had chemo [once/week] the two weeks bridging the old and new year and am currently on a two-week break. My current chemo cycle is two weeks on - two weeks off. (for my fellow pancreatic cancer fighters I am getting straight Abraxane {neat})

The first day after chemo my eyes began to bother me again. They not only dry out but become very irritated and often painful to keep open. I use artificial tears frequently but they don't help that much.
I also have Rx steroid eye drops. The relief from those is short as well. Being in front of a computer screen all day at work doesn't help I'm sure. When I get home I often close my eyes and nap to get relief. Other chemo side affects include fatigue, sleeplessness, constant runny nose and bloody mucous/sinus crap.

The good news is I don't suffer from nausea or vomiting and my appetite is good and I can eat whatever I want.

Other good news is that my blood tumor marker (CA19-9) is hanging around 145 which is a very good number. Next chemo is Jan. 22 and 29. 

For the benefit of my readers, I feel compelled to share again the symptoms I had that led to my diagnosis. Pancreatic cancer is a sneaky critter. This important but under-appreciated gland is hidden in your gut and cancer on it is hard to detect. Unlike colon, breast and prostate, there is no common standard screening test. Depending on it's location on the gland, it is often not painful. Because it's tucked up under the stomach and duodenum, the tumor is not readily palpable.

Here are some clues (ugly ones at that) to watch for, indicating there may be a problem:

  • unplanned weight loss (fat is not digested/absorbed)
  • clay-colored stools (obstructed biliary outflow)
  • feeling more "full" than usual after eating
  • diarrhea
  • floating feces (high fat content - lighter than water)
  • feces has oily appearance due to excess lipids
  • especially foul-smelling feces
  • vitamin D level is low (this requires a test. The body uses fat to adsorb vitamin D)

These were my indicators, there are numerous others: jaundice, pain in the upper abdomen, nausea, vomiting, heartburn, pulmonary embolism to name a few.

It pretty much takes a CT scan or PET scan to "see" if there is a problem.

I felt I owe it to you to remind you to be on the alert for all kinds of cancer.

I am using a "blend" of modern medicine and your prayers to fight the beast and stay well. So far it is working remarkably well and I would like to stay with this plan for now.
adieu.
ricky