Remembering Ricky.....the final post

This will be the final post on Deal with the Real. My wish is that Remembering Ricky will serve as an archive of reader and followers final comments, perspectives, thoughts, quotes, wisdom or sermons. Charles, Adam and I will enjoy hearing from you and will cherish this blog and your comments now and in the future. The photo below was taken on March 28. It will forever be a precious reminder of how fortunate I am to have these men in my life. 

Google stats are amazing. They keep track of who is viewing, from where and how often the pages on Deal with the Real are viewed. 

Rick labored over writing each post. In a November 2013 issue titled Two years and counting..... he wrote, "Writing a blog is not easy for me and honestly not that much fun. I resonated with the feeling shared by a fellow cancer blogger who wrote that if he had known he was going to live this long he would not have started blogging so soon!! But, I AM happy to share great news and, when it comes, will share the sad news as well."

Deal with the Real has 70 official followers  but it's evident more were reading. Rick often wondered how people stumbled onto it. He also wondered why so few people left  written comments.  Many people gave him feedback directly encouraging him to keep writing. He would have enjoyed more written responses, ones that he could savor or ponder by going back to them when he was discouraged. Norway, Russia, France??? Thank you Google for helping to keep track of Deal with the Real readers. 
 
Rick would be skeptical, but also approving, of the Celebration of Life Service we have planned in his memory on April 8. I think he would also appreciate the photo we selected and the lyrics to this lovely song that was sent to me by a dear friend in the darkest hours of this journey.  Its not that we think he wouldn't approve of the service itself. His skepticism would be toward the use of technology needed to successfully hold a joint service between Pilgrims Mennonite in Akron, PA and Salem-Zion Mennonite in Freeman, SD. Hopefully he is watching over this event and people on both sides will have a good experience. 

Our family wishes to convey sincerest appreciation for your prayers and support throughout Ricky's 40-month journey with pancreatic cancer. It was especially important to us in his last days while we were traveling in Freeman. He was a wonderful man and will be dearly missed. There will always be an empty chair at our table. 

Memorial gifts may be designated to Ricky’s Tuba Fund at Freeman Academy. With band director, Donna Ries, he agreed that his memorial would be use to purchase a new tuba. Checks may be sent directly to Freeman Academy at PO Box 1000, Freeman, SD 57029 or to Barb Schrag at 16 South 12th Street, Apt A, Akron, PA 17501. Thank you in advance for your generosity.

Synchronicity

My brother-in-law Steve Hagenah (married to my sister Becky) has been in  law enforcement  for over 40 years. I've always admired the sacrifices he made to keep watch over the community he was assigned to.  He said something once that stuck hard - "When you keep running into coincidences it probably means you're on the right path.” From his perspective he was referring  to criminal events. Regardless of that it stuck with me and I apply it to life events. 

In these recent days 'coincidence' has been waiting to greet us around every corner. Depending on your point of view you might prefer to call these events good luck, good karma, a miracle, a God moment or divine intervention. 

When Rick and I left Akron on March 26 it hadn't crossed my mind that we would not return to Pennsylvania together.  After all we had round-trip tickets and everyone knows those are non-refundable. Of course we would make the return trip. We purchased a few rings of Schmeckfest sausage and a poppy seed roll. On Thursday April 8 we would prepare a Schmeckfest feast for our small group. A nice bottle of wine is the only non-authentic item we would add to meal. Then we would celebrate Good Friday at Pilgrims, prepare our taxes (April 15 is nearing), and Rick would get back to his hit list of items to sell on Ebay and Craigslist. I would return to work at MDS. That's how things would go. 

Today we know that's not how it played out. On Wednesday morning, Charles, Adam and I sat, watching and waiting, observing Rick's breath - in and out. Slow, oh so slow and then quick. He was relaxed and appeared at peace. On Thursday morning, after the nurses freshened his bedding and shifted his position, he said in a clear and natural voice, "Thank you." It is was the last thing I heard from him. It will remain a great memory. 

At 2:30 am Friday, a change in his breathing woke me. It came in short and went out long. I called the nurse and she assured me that calling Adam and Charles would be the right thing to do. The three of us spent the rest of the night together at the hospital, falling in an out of sleep and observing his breath. By morning it seemed normal again so Adam went to see how his family was doing. Charles and I stayed at the hospital. Shortly before 9:00 am Charles noticed that his breathing had quickened. The doctor could not feel a pulse and his BP was undetectable. Around 9 he took his last breath. His life with cancer was done. He was in the healing arms of Jesus.  

More than 300 people read the End of the Line post. Just knowing you are out there interested in this journey has offered us strength to stay the path. Thank you.      
 - Barb Schrag

End of the line...

The first issue of Deal with the Real, titled Here’s the deal…., appeared about 40 months ago. Today Barb and Charles are posting blog #80 on his behalf. The date at the top may lead you to think this might be an April Fool’s joke, rest assured it is not. 

Speaking of April Fools jokes — The best one in my (Barb) memory is from 1987. Rick worked for the Freeman Courier, an award winning weekly newspaper that went to press every Tuesday and was on the local newsstands by Wednesday morning. April 1, 1987 fell on a Wednesday giving Editor Tim Waltner, Rick and other staff the perfect opportunity to create an April Fools front page. Back then, I thought it was the most clever publication I’d ever seen. I reread it today and still think the same. You can enjoy that issue here. 

Now for the “its no joke” part of this blog.  On March 26, Rick and I traveled to Freeman filled with the anticipation of attending Schmeckfest and spending time with family. The weekend was greatly enhanced by the presence of our children, various members of my family and Susan Schrag’s family, some of Rick's cousins, aunts, uncles and a great bunch of nieces and nephews.  A small brunch we had organized for Saturday morning with Rick's mom at the Salem Home turned into a "Speckfest" (Speck is the local moniker for the Orlando Schrag family). In all 44 people came. It was a great party.

As each day of the weekend passed Rick's health deteriorated. By Monday morning it became clear that he was in no shape to fly. A trip to the Freeman Regional Hospital ER confirmed what we were beginning to suspect — the disease would win this round. Freeman is where we will stay until his life ends. His kidneys have stopped functioning, the BP is very low. As one doctor said, “everything is out of wack”.

He is comfortable, resting in a room that once served the hospital as a birthing suite. He is sedated to keep the pain in check. Although, dying in Freeman was not what we anticipated it is turning out to be a 'divinely' laid plan in so many ways. As I write this his 93-year-old mother and eldest brother are sitting by his bedside. Charles said, “grandma, even though he is not responding we think he can hear you”. She said, “Its ok, I am happy to sit here, just to be near him.

We are most fortunate to have supportive communities around us in both Akron, PA and Freeman, SD. Many Freeman friends and family have come to visit and have brought food to our hosts home. Our East Coast friends have texted well wishes and prayers, picked up our mail, rescued our car from long-term parking, hacked Rick’s computer for some important documents and various other good deeds. Rick appears to enjoy short visits and occasionally responds.  We are encouraging brief visits for those who want to say farewell to him.

We will try to keep you posted as these next days pass. Rick wanted us to post for him today. Before he became somewhat unresponsive he dictated a few lines to Charles. Rather than weave them into this blog I decided to list them here. 

"I want you’s all (you’s all is an East Coast colloquialism that Rick doesn’t really care for) to know that my trip to Freeman was successful."

"It went smoothly, but down-hill after I got here. I had to make a decision about the future. I’m glad I’m in Freeman and not mid-flight in Chicago. My kidneys are in acute failure and my organs are shutting down."

"I knew the day was coming, but I didn’t expect it to be this quick."

"The train is coming to the station and it’s just about to stop. We thought maybe this trip was just another spur, but it’s actually the end of the line"