Mr. Clean has nothing on me ...

... well ... unless you include Mr. Clean's earring and bushy white eyebrows. (I have no plans for an earring right now and the bushy eyebrows "ain't gonna happen" anytime soon.)

Neither do Jesse "The Body" Ventura, Dalai Lama or Walter White! (apologies to readers unfamiliar with Mr White — a high school chemistry teacher stricken with lung cancer in the dark TV series "Breaking Bad" who cooks meth to amass wealth to support his family after he dies).

And you can add Howie Mandel, Yul Brynner, Paul Shaffer and Bruce Willis to the list of chrome domes that I just may surpass in good looks. (Maybe only "inner" beauty ... well, no ... Paul Shaffer? ... Howie Mandel? ... no contest. I win.)

Yes, my second visible physical sign of having pancreatic cancer has appeared. Weight loss was the first physical sign. But not as recognizable as "cancer" by the public.

The hair loss from my new Abraxene chemotherapy started about two weeks ago. Initially with more hair in the shower/tub drain. But I knew something was up because my hair became very "dead" feeling ... dry, brittle, etc. Then it was all over my shoulders. And on the pillow. And my clothes. And the towel. And the floor.  It was very messy. I was able to pull it out in clumps and knew it was time to get shorn.

Clipper and clippers poised. (Barb looks a little over-anxious here I think.)

Barb had the same experience twice during her cancer/chemo battles and I knew the course of action. Always willing to help, she offered to do the honors.

Always a cool head, Saturday, July 19, I became an even cooler head!!!

There was concern that I may have an ugly shaped head and would be an embarrassment, but alas, it was not to be. A friend, Torrie, who witnessed the shearing said I had a nice head. I, of course, thought she was just being polite. But even Barb said I had a nice shaped head. And she would not lie to me. I went to the mirror and BEHOLD. They were both right. I didn't have to wear hats in summer!

After a miserable night of sleeping with the bristle/stubs left by the clippers Barb finished the job Sunday morning with a smooth creamy Gillette shave. No blood was lost.

Step one complete... a beautifully shaped head is revealed!!

The immediate feeling was that of coolness ... evaporation off the noggin.

I had virtually no emotional pain or trauma associated with this procedure. For most men this is not a big deal. Naturally, for women it is much more difficult. I mean ... Sinead O'Connor ... really???

Then to give me encouragement and help me handle all this, Torrie gave me a magazine article about research which found that "men with shaved heads look 10% stronger than those with hair". This from the University of Pennsylvania Wharton School! "Fellas rockin' a shorn scalp were perceived to be more dominant than their hirsute counterparts", the article continues.

AND ... "despite the inevitable if slight height disadvantage, those lacking locks were viewed as nearly an inch taller than the average mop-topped male."

That was all very welcome news to me.

I kept my mustache but it is getting thinner every day.

A shaved head is very freeing. Low maintenance. Zero shampoo expense. Faster showers. No combing. Less fuss.

I hate to admit it, but I continued to carry a comb in my back pocket most of last week. It's hard to break a 50-year-old habit. It dawned on me on Thursday that I wouldn't be needing it for the time being.

One strange phenomena: You've heard of amputees who have phantom limbs. Well, I have phantom hair. I still wake up in the morning with the feeling that I have bad "bed head". You know... hair bent the opposite way you want it. Then a peek in mirror reminds me that all is well in the vanity department.

I have completely nauseated myself with these boastful musings and assume you have been equally repulsed.

But thanks for reading.

Riding the Chemo Coaster

How are Ricky and Barb doing? ...

We keep rolling!

I am nearly half way through my new 8-week chemo regimen. I waited a few weeks to report to see how I was going to react. The chemo seems to have cumulative effect with adverse reactions piling on each week. Abraxane is the drug. Infusions are weekly. Three weeks on, one week off and repeating three on, one off for a total of eight weeks.

Next week is my "off" week and I am looking forward to that. My next CT scan and CA19-9 blood test to check for "activity" will be at the end of the eight weeks in late August.

I am feeling okay, but am having more severe side effects than with the oral chemo I was taking. Today I took two naps ... after sleeping 8 hours last night!! I tire easily and have a general feeling of weakness. Also, two days ago my hair started coming out in clumps. I haven't clipped it, thinking maybe the week off will give me some reprieve, but I will likely be sporting a hairless head in the near future. I hope that at the very least my ear hair tufts and nose hair fall out!!! Also, my old man wild super-long neck hairs. But NO! So far they are holding tight.

My neutrophil count (baby white blood cells) has been hammered by Abraxane. This week I had to go back to Hershey a day after chemo for a Neulasta injection to help stimulate my bone marrow to develop stem cells. I had this $7,000 injection earlier when I was having Gemzar infusions. I like having a high white cell count. Especially the young infection warriors.

I have created an interactive element in this post to help engage the reader:

Qhemo Quiz

A little medical term lesson for readers that aren't nurses or doctors. Without cheating (i.e. using the Internet), match the chemo adverse reactions on the left with the symptoms/descriptions on the right. I have in the past or am presently experiencing those with the ✓:

  1. (   ) neutropenia✓                                     a) muscle pain
  2. (   ) neuropathy✓                                     b) hand-foot syndrome
  3. (   ) asthenia✓                                          c) shedding skin
  4. (   ) diarrhea✓                                          d) reduced red blood count, weakness
  5. (   ) nausea✓                                            e) memory loss, impaired cognitive thinking
  6. (   ) alopecia✓                                          f) reduced baby white blood cell count
  7. (   ) myalgia                                             g) loose bowels
  8. (   ) ocularanalitis✓ (only briefly)            h) hair loss

            (optic and anal sphincter nerves crossfire)

  9. (   ) anemia                                               i) nerve damage and pain
10. (   ) mucositis                                           j) shitty outlook on life
11. (   ) acral erythema✓                               k) weakness, dizziness, fatigue
12. (   ) chemobrain✓                                    l) queasiness, motion sickness
13. (   ) desquamation✓                                m) mouth sores

As you can see, I have not had ALL the bad stuff!! While I have had a nice variety, fortunately none of them have been too severe. What a privilege to have so many of these important-sounding conditions!!! I'm sure you are jealous.

Otherwise, the long heat wave and fatigue are keeping me indoors. I have a few outdoor projects that are waiting for milder temps. I DO go outside to use my Big Green Egg cooker though. My appetite is intact.

Not much else on the radar right now. We need to plan some outings/trips depending on my energy level. Barb has been working very hard and going with me to Hershey for all appointments. That is so nice. She always has about ten projects going at once to keep her occupied. The garden harvest is bountiful. She is a great partner. I love her. I hope and pray she stays well.

 thanks for reading. thanks for your kindness and concern. thanks for your support. 

Answers to Qhemo Quiz:

1(f); 2(i); 3(k); 4(g); 5(l); 6(h); 7(a); 8(j); 9(d); 10(m); 11(b); 12(e); 13(c)