Finally...chemo and radiation-free

This past Thursday I "graduated" from radiation and it does my spirit good. I really look forward to 4-5 weeks w/o any treatments as it has been a hard slog. Dr. Mackley, my radiation oncologist, seemed very confident that I will start feeling better after a week and that's fine by me! I guess it takes that long for the chemo and radiation to stop working on the mass on my pancreas AND the rest of me.


This weekend I was expecting to feel better, but continue to suffer from digestive issues. Barb and I had our 39th wedding anniversary Saturday. We were married on 3/3/73 at 3 pm in Cass Lake, Minnesota. All I can say is I am one lucky man to have such a nice soul-mate!!


We talked of celebrating by going out to the The Press Room restaurant in Lancaster but, because of my general malaise, we went to the Pancake Farm in Ephrata for late breakfast instead. I had never been to the Pancake Farm and I confessed to Barb that it was on my bucket list. I have driven past this little local Ephrata breakfast joint many times but had never experienced it. It is a very busy, crowded place. I don't think the environment was up to par with The Press Room, but it was fun and in keeping with our historically downgraded anniversary "dinners". One year in Freeman snowy weather kept us for going to Minerva's and we ended up at the VFW for cheeseburger and fries. Another year it was Papa's. Yes, we have established a pattern of pedestrian anniversary dining experiences.  We usually go out for a cheeseburger and beer. This year was a radical change with eggs/pancakes and no beer.


Saturday night we attended a fabulous "PYGfest" fundraiser put on by our church youth group. (PYG=Pilgrim's Youth Group). They had two pigs — one 90 lbs and one 60 lbs — hot-smoked and deboned by youth with some adult help, homemade coleslaw, bbq sauce, organic apple sauce and desserts. It was delicious. The pigs were donated by church members who are farmers. The pigs were from Sweet Stem Farm owned by Phil and Dorcas Horst-Landis who raise only happy uncommonly good livestock. And the applesauce was donated by Scarecrow Hill Community Farm owned by Dave and Peggy Fogarty-Harnisch who also raise uncommonly good organic products.


I must say more about our wonderful faith family here in PA. We attend Pilgrims Mennonite Church which rents the Meeting Place on the MCC campus here in Akron. Pilgrims started as a small splinter group from Akron Mennonite church in the 1970s. It used a home church model and intentionally does not own a building. It has grown over the years and now average attendance is about 70 and the home church idea has been replaced by rows of chairs in the meeting room. It places a high priority on worship (with many participants), small groups, fellowship, retreats and informal meetings.


We have been richly blessed by our sisters and brothers in faith. Their words of encouragement, rides to treatments, food, emails, phone calls and willingness to step in and take over some of our responsibilities has been a tremendous source of strength and comfort for us. We are so happy to surrounded by their love and we love them.


Pilgrim's pastor Barry Kreider shared with me a hymn "By Gracious Powers" that has been meaningful for him and it must be contagious as it is the prayer I have been most frequently going back to in the past few months. The hymn tune used in Germany is different than hymn #552 in the Mennonite Hymnal: A Worship Book. I tried to find a good You-Tube of the hymn but most of them are too schmaltzy. Here is link to the tune on solo piano that I like.


Dietrich Bonhöffer wrote this as a poem from prison for his fiancee and family for Christmas 1944. He was then executed the following April in the Flossenbuerg concentration camp. When he wrote the prayer/poem he already knew that he would die in the camp.

I prefer the German version of the prayer. See the translation below.

Von guten Mächten 

Von guten Mächten treu und still umgeben,
Behütet und getröstet wunderbar,
So will ich diese Tage mit euch leben
Und mit euch gehen in ein neues Jahr.

Noch will das alte unsre Herzen quälen,

Noch drückt uns böser Tage schwere Last.
Ach, Herr, gib unsern aufgescheuchten Seelen
Das Heil, für das du uns bereitet hast.

Und reichst du uns den schweren Kelch, den bittern
Des Leids, gefüllt bis an den höchsten Rand,
So nehmen wir ihn dankbar ohne Zittern
Aus deiner guten und geliebten Hand.

Doch willst du uns noch einmal Freude schenken
An dieser Welt und ihrer Sonne Glanz,
Dann wolln wir des Vergangenen gedenken
Und dann gehört dir unser Leben ganz.

Lass warm und still die Kerzen heute flammen,
Die du in unsre Dunkelheit gebracht.
Führ, wenn es sein kann, wieder uns zusammen.
Wir wissen es, dein Licht scheint in der Nacht.

Wenn sich die Stille nun tief um uns breitet,
So lass uns hören jenen vollen Klang
Der Welt, die unsichtbar sich um uns weitet,
All deiner Kinder hohen Lobgesang.

Von guten Mächten wunderbar geborgen,
Erwarten wir getrost, was kommen mag.
Gott ist mit uns am Abend und am Morgen
Und ganz gewiss an jedem neuen Tag.

Here is an English translation of four verses as found in HWB. Note: this is four of the seven stanzas. The last stanza (in German above) is the most often quoted and is the first in the hymnbook. I'll let you match the other three verses with the German.

By gracious powers 

By gracious powers so wonderfully sheltered,
  And confidently waiting come what may,
we know that God is with us night and morning,
  and never fails to greet us each new day.

Yet is this heart by its old foe tormented,
  Still evil days bring burdens hard to bear;
Oh, give our frightened souls the sure salvation
  for which, O Lord, You taught us to prepare.

And when this cup You give is filled to brimming
  With bitter suffering, hard to understand,
we take it thankfully and without trembling,
  out of so good and so beloved a hand.

Yet when again in this same world You give us
  The joy we had, the brightness of Your Sun,
we shall remember all the days we lived through,
  and our whole life shall then be Yours alone.