Here's the deal....

    After several week's of procrastinating I've decided the smart thing is to start blogging as a means of communicating with my family and friends about my situation. I never gave much thought to having my own journal for anyone to read. (I am actually uncomfortable with the concept.)  However, I was so inspired by my brother Mark's interesting recording of his journey with pancreatic cancer with a blog called Consider This, that I have decided to follow his example. Herewith are some ramblings about my journey with pancreatic cancer. Yes, it is the real deal: CANCER!
    Here is a brief history to this point including good news, bad, news, waiting and terrible news:
    • September 2011 I started having issues with my digestive system.
    • October - problems persist and increase. I think about possibly having Crohn's, irritable bowel syndrome or diverticulitis. Have doctor's visit and blood tests. Liver numbers a little high.
    • November - second doctor's appointment, orders CT scan
    • November 21 - Bad News! CTscan results: 2" mass on the head of my pancreas. I decide to go to Hershey Medical Center in Hershey, PA, for diagnosis and treatment.
    • Dec. 5 - Endoscopy (through mouth, esophagus, stomach) done to get tissue and install a stent in the bile duct to help my digestion.
    • Dec. 6 - Bad News - go to ER at Hershey medical center with acute pancreatitis resulting from the endoscopies upsetting the fussy little pancreas.
    • Dec. 7 - A doctor informs me the eight brushes or swipes made on Monday came back negative. Good News.
    • Dec. 8 - A surgical oncologist comes into my room and says: "hold the horses on that. we need to have another biopsy because blood marker and visuals show classic pancreatic cancer. Results are inconclusive. Bad News. Go home feeling better than I had in a long time. Good News.
    • Dec. 16 - Have an ultrasound guided needle biopsy from outside the gut to the pancreas (I am still in awe of how they do this). Now we wait another week until a dual appointment with an oncologist and a surgical oncologist.
    • Dec. 23 - Meet with oncologist, Dr. Nelson Yee, who tells us that I have pancreatic cancer. Biopsies along with other diagnoses are conclusive and accurate. Of the various types it's the Patrick Swayze or Mark Schrag type and not the Steve Jobs type. It's called adenocarcinoma. It is Stage 3 Grade 1 which means it has grown into major blood vessels. Very bad news. But has not metastasized or possibly not invaded lymph nodes. Kinda good news, maybe?? Then we met with the surgeon who said this tumor can not be resected because it's embedding the blood vessels. "Not ever," he said. Surgery is far too risky. This was crushing news as I knew my best chance to beat this was whipple surgery, or some kind of REMOVAL OF THE OFFENDING TUMOR! Bottom line: There is no cure.
    A look into our future — I will be on a six week chemo and radiation treatment starting Jan. 6. Then a month off to recover. Then another CT scan to see if the bugger has shrunk. Then more chemo. More details later.
    Right now I am trying to process all this cheery news and it is not easy. I am scared, stressed and angry – all at the same time. (I am not angry at any person or group, you understand) So I ask for your continued prayers for peace, courage and strength as we go ahead into 2012. We are very grateful to be part of so many supporting families - home/biological, church, work, friends. And I have the utmost respect for and confidence in the medical team we've been seeing. Finally, I'm really lucky to have Barb, who has gone through three cancer diagnoses and all kinds of treatments, to help me. She has shown a great example of how to face this crap head on.
    Sorry for the cold, lengthy post. I may try to be more human in later posts.
    Best personal wishes at Christmas and throughout the New Year.