No news is not necessarily good news

     Just when I was thinking I had experienced most all the side effects possible from chemo and radiation three new sideshows opened their curtains this past ten days and have left me feeling mostly unwell:
     #1. Friday, Feb. 10, Dr. Yee said my white cell count was too low and I needed a series of five shots (Neupogen) starting Saturday and Sunday (two extra trips to Hershey) to stimulate proliferation of white blood cell out of my bone marrow. The last three of these shots where coordinated with my scheduled radiation trips.
     #2. Sunday morning, Feb. 12, I woke up with my right forearm feeling bruised. I looked down as I was eating a light breakfast and noticed this red patch over the "bruised" area and immediately recognized cellulitis .... AGAIN! This time in my arm. My head and heart dropped as I really was discouraged by this new issue. I called the on-call fellow at Hershey who prescribed more antibiotics (amoxicillin/clavulanic acid) for me to take for ten days. I picked up the Rx when I went in for my Neupogen shot.
    Tues., Feb. 14, I went to work but came home too sick to make the trip to Hershey. I keep busy dealing with and fighting diarrhea. I regularly take anti-nausea and anti-diarrhea pills, but I am feeling ill.
    Wed., Feb. 15, Dr. Mackley orders my stool to be checked for intestinal infection.
     #3. Thursday I learn that my poop tested positive for C. diff (Clostridium difficile). Those of you in the health care business know what this is, but it was all brand new term to me!!! --- an intestinal infection caused by the loss of natural gut flora when taking antibiotics. I was ordered to stop taking Imodium so the C.diff can "pass through".
     This has not been fun. I guess it DEPENDS on what you call fun. It DEPENDS how you like to spend much of your time. It DEPENDS on what level of dignity you can live with. I have been weak and really lacking any pep. Small tasks, such as making blog entries, loom large. 
     Yesterday I told Barb we forgot to ask the doctor what is left on the side effects plate for me to sample. Today she washed my bedding and found a bigger basket to hold all the damn pill bottles. What a sweetheart!!! Pray for her health as well as mine, 'cause I need her.
     I am very much ready for a week of simple nausea. I am supposed to be excited by the fact that I have completed 19 of 28 radiations (two-thirds over) and only one or two chemo infusions left until I get a four-week break for my body to "heal". I can't put my finger on it, but the toll of the treatments has failed to elevate my enthusiasm for these "landmarks" or supposed "feel good" points along the way.
     Good news: my arm cellulitis is 90% gone and my white cell count was up yesterday so I got chemo infusion, although reduced to 50% because my platelet count is low. I look forward to "eliminating" C diff.
     All this hoopla begs the question: Is the treatment working? We don't know and won't know until a CT scan near the end of March near the end of my healing time. Thanks again everyone for your concern. It helps me along this journey of dealing with the real and although this has been a "pity me" post, rest assured that your prayers and help have made the "real" easier.