Snapshots

Owen Putnam Schrag, posing with his mom, Annie and dada, Adam. He is a good time.

It's time to post those photos I promised from my Fabulous Father's Day Weekend and give you an update on what condition my condition is in.

Our whole family was together and enjoyed a few outings in the grass and spent most of the time enjoying our time together with our focus on our son/grandson, Owen, who is so precious.

Owen, 9 months old, and his hairless, saggy- and wrinkle-skinned grandpa getting acquainted.
His dad, Adam, and uncle Charles have hair all over their heads so I was an new and interesting relic for him to see.

Blogger seems to require some text between photos or it won't place them where I want. Typical new technology not letting me be in control. I like being in control - not the technology. Don't get me started about my feelings toward the audio center (formerly known as the radio) in our new car. I find it most unfriendly, but maybe better than one in a Dodge we rented once. Oh, and the temp control system (formerly known as the heater and air conditioner). That has a mind of its own too!!!

Here we are on a cool Sat. eve taking in a concert at Music in the Orchard at Hans Herr House in Willow Creek. L-R, son Charles, his friend and ours Anna, mommy Annie, Owen enjoying the grass. Grandpa and Grandbee (I think his maternal grandmother is Grandcee [Cathy]) sitting in back. Owen likes the outdoors and didn't mind the cool evening compared the scorching summer heat in his hometown of Fresno, California.

I didn't take any pictures while family was here and am glad other family members shared these with me so I can post them here.

Owen listens to Daryl Snider on guitar and Frances Miller on violin as they entertain the orchard crowd. Frances is married to Charles's friend Tim Sauder who went to Canadian Mennonite University the same year Charles did.

I will intersperse my cancer stuff as text to separate the photos and keep you up-to-date. It seems google blogger is now requiring at least two lines of text to separate photos. I don't get it!?!?!

Owen interacting with Charles's friend Anna Harrington. Thanks for joining us Anna! That was a special treat.

I am in the middle of chemo by infusion (Abraxane) and oral (Xeloda). I definitely am feeling their effects. Hand and feet are numb. I worked 8 hours today and came home shelled. I fielded some ugly phone calls and they took their toll on me. I plan to reduce my work time to a more reasonable shift length starting later this week.

Tomorrow morning Barb is taking me to Hershey for blood work at 7:30 am and chemo at 8 am. That's as early as I've every gone. I generally takes about 3.5-4 hours for an infusion. Thursday I go back for the $9000 Neulasta injection to promote white blood count.

Owen and Grandbee Barb sloppy kissing. This at a picnic in Long's Park in Lancaster City

For my fellow pancreatic cancer readers, my blood tumor marker shot up —which can be cause for concern. It went from 265 to 425 over a two-week period. I am curious what it will be this week with all this poison going through my body.

Owen likes the outdoors and water, both strong Baird traits. He really enjoyed this swing time.

My endoscopic procedure to obtain larger amounts of tumor tissue failed. The plan was to send the tumor tissue (cancer cells) to a lab for extensive molecular analysis to determine more about their makeup and then determine what treatment will be most effective against them. The doctor said when he tried to pierce the tumor with the needle to get tissue it basically pushed against a hard fibrous mass and failed to collect the tissue. The tumor has largely necrotized (died). But Dr. Yee was quick to add that it is not benign or safe to ignore. I guess I wasn't pinning large hopes to this process, so the fact that it failed hasn't been a big disappointment.

Mommy Annie caught this great moment between dada and little Owen on our couch. Both happy. Me too.

We don't have any major plans July 4 but look forward to the day off. I should have taken a photo of Barb's box garden. We have been enjoying three kinds of fresh lettuce and radishes. You just can't do better than garden-fresh lettuce. Maybe I will include a pic in a future post.

Owen sitting on the car console next to Grandpa Ricky as together they learn the RAV4 features and controls.

That's it for now. Owen is pretty dang cute, eh? He's also charming and personable. These will not be last photos of him you'll see here. Barb and I look forward to a Baird family reunion in Cass Lake, MN, with a spur trip to visit my family in SoDak the end of July and early August.

Best to everyone

Ricky

The surprise of my life!

Last week was my NO CHEMO week! And that helped me last Thursday starting out just great. I was feeling fine and went to work for eight hours. Meanwhile, Barb, who recently lost her passport, made a trip to Philly to expedite getting a new passport - fast - needed for her upcoming trip to Canada the end of this month.

I came home pretty shelled and took a late afternoon nap while Barb was still in Philly meeting with MCC East Coast colleagues. I cooked some Johnsonville brats, sugar peas and penne for supper during which Barb texted me that she decided to stop and shop at IKEA - the Swedish self-assemble furniture and housewares box store. She knows it's better for her to do that without me because I have started to express resistance to IKEA shopping.

She texted an hour later that she didn't start home when she planned and would be home a little late. Meanwhile, whilst washing some dishes (we don't have a dishwasher) I was overcome with the need to visit what we pancreatic cancer survivors call the "necessary room". While on the throne I heard Barb come home. I hear her come in the kitchen door and through the bathroom door we greet each other. And she says, "I have a full van to unload". And I think, "Oh no, what kind of buying binge did Barb go on? and what uncomfortable IKEA furniture did she buy?"

I finish my business and walked directly the sink to finish the dishes, so I could help Barb unload the van. Then Barb comes up behind me and said, "Look what I've got." I turn around and see her holding what looked like our grandson, Owen, who lives in Fresno, Calif. At very first instant, I thought she had a special life-size doll of Owen made for us to play and engage with during our long absences. Then Owen moved his head and I thought: "What an incredible doll! A perfect replica in every way. And animatronic too." I could not believe at first that she was actually holding our live grandson — but she was. But where were Owen's mom and dad? Barb didn't kidnap Owen, did she?

Soon our son, Adam, wife, Annie, from Fresno AND, low and behold, our other son, Charles, and hist friend, Anna, from Seattle, Wash., came through the kitchen archway to greet me. I can not describe how absolutely blown away I was. I fell apart as I greeted each one with a hug and tear-filled eyes. They had come to visit me for Father's Day and had kept me totally out of the loop! It was a total surprise to me. Barb and the family had secretly and very successfully organized these trips all the way to PA. Now Barb did mention something a few week's ago about a surprise for Father's Day. She asked me if I wanted to know what she was planning. I said I was indifferent, thinking she was planning a weekend away to the beach or fly to Detroit to see the Twins play the Tigers in Comerica Park, or who knows what. But THIS? It did not cross my mind.

The family will be flying out on Tuesday. Barb also secretly arrange for me to have Friday and Monday off work. Thank you, Smilebuilderz, LLC! We went to Hans Herr Music in the Orchard last night and had a picnic with our church small group at Long's Park summer music concert tonight. Adam contributed to our church worship this morning with an interesting presentation on "Protest and Public Art". He focused on public art about/protesting US military use of drones. I was so happy to see him in his teacher mode. He gives a damn good lecture, if I am allowed to brag a little. I would enjoy taking a class of his.

We've played a few hands of a Monopoly Deal card game that was new to me and has ambiguous/incomplete rules regarding the use of Wild Cards, which has resulted in some lively discussions and raised tensions. But we spend most of our time gazing at and playing with Owen who is so engaging and fun. He is a very relaxed, cute, charming baby. Having him visit and become a little more familiar with his hairless, saggy- and wrinkle-skinned, scary-looking grandpa has meant so much to me. At first he wasn't sure what to think of me. He had some fear or reservations, but definitely "knows" me better after a couple of days and we get along great. Grandbee Barb is also energized by the family visit and the opportunity to spoil him.

So, this is definitely my most memorable and best Father's Day ever. It has decidedly pushed a memorable Father's Day about 10 years ago into second place. That's when the family decided to buy me a Big Green Egg outdoor charcoal grill/cooker/smoker. They knew I wanted one, but we all had difficulty justifying spending $800 for an outdoor cooker. But they did and I've had loads of fun with it and the family has benefitted from some pretty good food off that grill.

I hope all the dad's out there had a great Fathers Day. I sure am having a great 4-day Father's Day that could well be the envy of other dads out there. I'm so blessed to have such a great loving family.

I'll try to post some pictures later and up date you on my cancer as well.

Ricky

Ups and Downs

Okay, it's time for a status update.

In a nutshell, I continue to ride the cancer/chemo roller coaster —which we unaffectionately call the 'chemo coaster'. I know it's cliché, but reality is I have my ups and downs, my highs and lows. Admittedly, the highs seem less high and less frequent than in the past. I have some overall "up" days and weeks (mostly when on chemo break), but within those larger time frames my distress level changes from hour to hour; especially since I've been having digestion issues. Today, for example, I woke up feeling great. After a small breakfast w/chemo pills I still felt fine until two hours later, within minutes, I felt terrible. Missed church.

Here is a timeline to bring you up-to-date with more details, blow-by-blow (boring):

November 2011 — CT shows mass on pancreas

December 2012 — Biopsy shows cancer. Diagnosis: pancreatic adenocarcinoma

Fast forward 2-1/2 years and 60 pounds later (lighter) to—

May 20, 2014 — Barb and I met w/hospice nurse (Lancaster city - not Hershey)to learn more about hospice options. I'm not hospice-ready now thankfully, but she is referring me to some palliative care physicians who may have some help for my dehydration and my diarrhetic malaise. So far no call from that doc and I will need to followup on this.

May 21, 2014 — I had blood test and visit w/Dr. Yee. I was scheduled for chemo as well, but wimped out, pleading too fatigued and weak. Blood T-marker came down from 375 to 300 which is a nice reverse in a bad trend. He explained some options we may have, depending on the outcome of the upcoming PET scan. He agreed to infuse a jug of saline to re-hydrate me since my port was accessed and chemo chair was reserved. I can assure you no matter what the scan shows he wants to keep chemo going with not much regard for my weight loss and defecation disorder. I/we will have some decisions to make coming up.

Friday, May 23 — I was anticipating and prepped for a first-ever for me PET scan to have a look at my innards in a different way, in a different light. Upon check-in we were surprised and disappointed to learn that my insurance denied authorization for the procedure. They cost about twice as much as a CT scan and are normally authorized when cancer is Stage IV.. So I had a contrast enhanced CT scan instead of the PET scan. I felt rotten that evening.

Wed., May 28 — discussed CT scan w/Dr. Yee. The great news is there is no sign of spreading cancer! No findings of metastatic disease in the chest, abdomen and pelvis (scanned). It is still locally advanced, but contained. I'm fine with this result. There is some enlargement and further dilation of the pancreatic duct which will be watched. We discuss treatment. I am feeling great due to two week's off chemo and reluctantly agree to start a new cycle of the same chemo I've been on: Abraxane infusion once a week for two weeks and Xeloda oral chemo (two pills every morning and two pills every night) during those same two weeks. So I go on a chemo "picnic" and also receive two units of blood to help my anemia. It was a long day in the infusion room from 10:30 to 4 pm. My faithful wife by my side the whole time. She is really wonderful.
Friday May 30 — wasn't scheduled to work and was happy for that because I felt chemo-crappy the whole day.

Saturday, May 31 — felt much better and went into work for 8 hours with a nice one-hour lunch break with Bob and Phyllis Hartzler and Barb.

Tuesday, June 3 — we meet with a gastroenterologist at Hershey about my trots. We are not expecting much new from this, but feel it can't hurt to get another opinion about how to battle diarrhea.


Wed., June 4 — chemo infusion in Hershey

Thursday, June 5 — Neulasta injection in Hershey to stimulate white blood cell growth.

Monday, June 9 — Endoscopy in Hershey snip some more tumor tissue for another biopsy. This is for genetic testing the cancer cells to better inform the doctor which chemo is most effective. It is called CARIS testing.

I'll stop there for now. As you can see there are many trips to Hershey. Amidst all this I am working on getting Medicare coverage and supplemental insurances in place. Also, I don't understand my disability insurance and want to learn what I have, now that I qualify for Social Security. It's all a lot to ponder - sometimes in a fog.

That's it. It's an interesting journey. I don't recommend it to anyone. Thankful for the time I've been allowed and am looking forward to the summer heat as I am often still wearing sweatshirts. And I most certainly appreciate my support systems. All are wonderful. Videos of grandson, Owen, and FaceTime with him and family are highlights of my days.

On the "support" note, I am very, very happy to report that Barb is starting a new work schedule tomorrow, wherein she will be working a flexible half time schedule using accumulated Family Medical Leave and sick days. She has worked 15 years for Mennonite Central Committee and she really appreciates and values this pressure valve release. I feel bad that I burn up so much what should be her personal time. She's a saint. Plain and simple.

Later,
love,
Ricky

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

Akron man napping his life away

Here is a story I found that may interest some of you:

Napping takes strong grip on 66-year-old Akron man's life

AKRON, PA— A local man has recently turned to napping in a most passionate, obsessive way. Snoozy Schlab seems to succeed in getting some shut-eye at every opportunity possible. Dagwood Bumstead doesn't hold a candle to this latest nap-crazed slumberer.
        Schlab has been found dozing all over the place! He has been found sleeping in countless restful poses. He will catch 40 winks just about anywhere. "He gets off work before I do and when I come home sometimes I have to check every room in the house and the basement to find him," his enabling wife, Babs said. She has found him worthlessly, unabashedly catching Zs in nearly every chair, recliner, or, one of three beds in the home. "Surprisingly, I haven't found him sleeping in the kitchen yet," she remarked. "I haven't found him on top of the washer and dryer only because they are set at right angles to each other. Not side-by-side."
        A lovely and thoughtful woman, but a borderline co-dependent, Babs recently put up a hammock between two trees in the backyard which will certainly further encourage his time-wasting non-activity. She won't have much time to use it, taking care of her narcoleptic sloth of a husband.

        Schlab has been found zonked out in front of the TV with the sound up high loud enough for the neighbors to hear. Often he naps with his laptop open on his lap and his fingers on the keyboard with a display of random keystrokes such as lkjli;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;.

Napping superstar Schlab
caught in a rare awake moment,
but obviously not benefitting
from any "beauty sleep".

        "Napping has become my newest hobby," Schlab brags. "If I could string my naps together I would easily win the Sleep Marathon," he says, oblivious to the fact that there is no such contest. "I find it therapeutic, meditative, relaxing and refreshing, " he adds. "I always wake up feeling renewed and thinking about taking my next nap." Schlab appears totally unaware that he is fast becoming a nearly total non-productive human.
        His previous hobbies include marrying small, nearly used-up bath soap bars to freshly unwrapped new bath bars. "Not a single soap marriage I've done has failed," he boasts. "I even married three bars together at one time."
        Schlab said he does some reading and sudoku puzzles but drifts off when his energy and concentration level get too low. "It doesn't start out too high," he admits.
        At work Schlab says the challenge is napping in front of a computer terminal. Head bobbing is a dead giveaway. Often for breaks he will take short "power naps" in his car now that the weather is warmer.
        When asked if his superfluous daytime napping makes it difficult to sleep through the night, he said he can still squeeze in a good 8-hour snooze-a-thon with only one or two short awakenings during the night.
        Schlab sees himself as a pioneer in reviving the lost and oft-maligned art of napping "Let it be known that napping is a great exercise and adds as much, if not more, to great manliness as a 15-minute workout."
                                                             —30—

     

"It was our pleasure..."

The lab results of the colonoscopy I had last month arrived in our mailbox last week. Two identical letters were sent. Not sure why. The results are kinda good news/bad news. The good news is that there was no microscopic colitis found in the random biopsies/tissue samples. That was the first I learned what they were looking for. The bad news is we are no closer to resolving my digestive problems. It's ironic, but I suppose at some point I want a test that comes back "positive" for something so we can start treating for the trots. 

The first sentence after the salutation "Dear Mr. Schrag," is: "We had the pleasure of performing a colonoscopy at Penn State Hershey Medical Center April 25, 2014.....". Really? "The pleasure"?? I often wondered what drove med students to enter this specialty. Regardless, the pleasure was NOT all mine. But I'm glad they enjoyed it.

We are pinning our hopes on the gastroenterologist specialist we are scheduled to see the first week in June. I continue to take chemo - orally and by infusion. That doesn't help me feel any better. Both chemos are at reduced amounts because too many of my white cells are killed with full dose. Also, fewer pills to help me tolerate it better. On the bad news side of things, my tumor marker keeps escalating:

• April 9 — 173.9
• April 16 — 195.0
• April 30 — 250.3
• May 7 — 376.7

I've had blood tumor numbers like this before, but they will really fuel my oncologist's desire to keep the chemo up. I'm weaker than ever and on Sunday purchased two new pairs of pants because Barb said I was "drowning" in my 34" waist trousers. I guess folding over/bunching up the waist of pants is not a good fashion look!

My journey with cancer is taking me down a new path and it is not pleasant. I have good days and bad days. In fact I have good hours and bad hours. I don't enjoy eating much at all anymore.

We continue to be grateful for all the love and support of friends and family. It's hard to image a better support system.

/Ricky