On leaving "Vandom"

Saying goodbye to the blue van.

or

"Out with the old. In with the new."

Last Saturday Barb and I drove our trusty blue Toyota Sienna minivan into the sunset — both literally and figuratively.

After owning and driving a Toyota minivan for the last 22 years it was a difficult and emotional "goodbye" while cleaning our stuff out of "her" after trading "her" in at a Toyota dealership in Lancaster city ... west of here.

Our love affair with Toyota vans started in 1991 when we purchased a used late 1980s silver one with the engine between the front seats from Leonard Wiens at Wiens Auto Mart. Barb recalls we bought it in preparation for a vacation trip to Yellowstone Nat'l Park with Elle when she was an IVEPer (International Visitor Exchange Program) at the Et Cetera Shoppe in Freeman. I affectionately nicknamed it the "Aardvark". Somehow it seemed equally as odd as the animal and the name popped into my head.

We drove the wheels off that van. Hauling soccer kids all over the country. Loading it to bumper-to-bumper and floor-to-ceiling with SelfHelp (now Ten Thousand Villages) items for offsite sales. It was an unusual designed vehicle and fun to drive with the front seats right on top of the front axle.

The "Aardvark" looked something like this.

Shortly after the silver one "died" in a traffic accident we went shopping for another van. Barb and I bought the slightly used blue 2002 Sienna rather impetuously Jan. 3, 2004 from the Toyota dealer in Sioux Falls. We hardly looked around. I pushed to buy and Barb was having difficulty breathing from being so scared about spending (read: borrowing) the amount of money we needed to buy the van. I (and a salesman who used scarcity to pressure us) prevailed. I will never forget another couple really wanted to drive it while we were "thinking" about it.

We never looked back. That van, as well, served us very well and Barb could haul lumber in it and Barb did haul lumber in it. We hauled all kinds of shit in it. Bicycles. Kids. College dorm rooms. We took the rear seats out and hauled furniture all around Newton, Kansas to set up an MCC office one time. Barb loaded it to the roof when she moved to Akron. We stuffed things into that van that I swore wouldn't fit in it.

I told Barb as we were wheeling and dealing on a new car last week that the van treated us very well and didn't owe us anything.

But "she" was getting into her senior years with 175,000 miles on "her". She still ran great and I recently paid $85 to fix a fussy and rattly side door. (I'm writing about the van here.. not Barb)

I've heard that we Americans have a psychological need to spend big bucks about twice year. We require these big consumer urges be satisfied for our well-being. Well, a wave of desire to spend (borrow) alot of money came over me and I was able to convince Barb it was time for a change in vehicles.

You see the mileage on the van was averaging 22 mpg. Also, the turning radius lock-to-lock was horrible. And that's not a good thing out here in the more congested East Coast. I thought: let's move up while it's still working well and has some value.

What to buy? That was difficult for us. Buying vehicles has never been my favorite activity. Barb maybe handles that better than I do. For me it is a "buy one and get it done" situation. Barb does tend to go into "shock" though when she becomes overwhelmed by the choices and then the big dollar figures. I handle that more coolly (on the surface, at least).

Since we loved vans and their cargo space and we had a cargo hitch for a bike rack too.... we were having problems deciding what to get next. With my "bucket list" dream of driving a luxury sedan, Barb had to grab the steering wheel to keep me from driving into the BMW and Mercedes dealerships and going off the deep end into debt. (After telling him about our car shopping, her boss quipped: "Barb, how could you deprive a dying man a BMW?")

We liked the cargo space and seat height of the van. We drove a Honda Accord but kept being drawn to something with more more room. We decided a brand new 2013 Toyota RAV4 — which is a compact SUV — fit the bill.

It has all-wheel drive. Sits high. Gets better gas mileage. Turns on a dime (which is really nice). Has a new windshield. Wow, I never realized how pitted our old one was. Drives nice. Had five miles on the odometer. Also had zero percent interest financing.

Our new vehicle (I can't really call it a "car") looks like this.

The new vehicle has some gadgets and wizardry that we didn't particularly want or need but the options were not plentiful - which - in hindsight - probably helped gravitate us to this car. From about seven 2013 models on hand with their only difference being exterior and interior color combinations, we picked the red one off the showroom floor because Barb really liked the interior color of coordinated gray and black. Barb and I have reassured each other that we are pleased with our decision and have no buyer's remorse but will hold the memories of our vans close.

Today, Barb drove me to Hershey, PA, in our new vehicle. I had a chemo infusion this morning. We were back by noon and, after eating lunch, I went to work for about six hours While the chemo does give me fatigue I don't get hit hard by it.

My blood tumor marker was 172; up a little from my last one of 164, but I don't see that as alarming in the larger scheme of things. All my other blood work looked good - white cells, platelets, kidney function, etc. so they accessed my medi-port (I DO NOT miss those venipunctures from the flexor aspect, or inside, of my elbows.)

Next on the agenda is a CT scan on Feb. 17 and visit about treatment with oncologist on Feb. 19 and I  presume chemo of some kind then. I am doing well. No pain. Enzyme pills help me digest food.

I can not overstate how thankful I am for the many ways all of you give me encouragement and support. It sustains me and makes my life so much better. Thanks!

Ricky

Glad to see 2014

When learning you have cancer, life becomes an "inch-by-inch" journey. Those inches add up to feet, yards and miles. (apologies to the rest of the world on the metric system. "centimeter by centimeter" doesn't have the same ring)

Embarking on a new year is like going a mile when your mortality is dangling in front of you. I am very happy to be here in 2014. 

After a wonderful glorious 5-week break from treatments, I had chemo [once/week] the two weeks bridging the old and new year and am currently on a two-week break. My current chemo cycle is two weeks on - two weeks off. (for my fellow pancreatic cancer fighters I am getting straight Abraxane {neat})

The first day after chemo my eyes began to bother me again. They not only dry out but become very irritated and often painful to keep open. I use artificial tears frequently but they don't help that much.
I also have Rx steroid eye drops. The relief from those is short as well. Being in front of a computer screen all day at work doesn't help I'm sure. When I get home I often close my eyes and nap to get relief. Other chemo side affects include fatigue, sleeplessness, constant runny nose and bloody mucous/sinus crap.

The good news is I don't suffer from nausea or vomiting and my appetite is good and I can eat whatever I want.

Other good news is that my blood tumor marker (CA19-9) is hanging around 145 which is a very good number. Next chemo is Jan. 22 and 29. 

For the benefit of my readers, I feel compelled to share again the symptoms I had that led to my diagnosis. Pancreatic cancer is a sneaky critter. This important but under-appreciated gland is hidden in your gut and cancer on it is hard to detect. Unlike colon, breast and prostate, there is no common standard screening test. Depending on it's location on the gland, it is often not painful. Because it's tucked up under the stomach and duodenum, the tumor is not readily palpable.

Here are some clues (ugly ones at that) to watch for, indicating there may be a problem:

• unplanned weight loss (fat is not digested/absorbed)
• clay-colored stools (obstructed biliary outflow)
• feeling more "full" than usual after eating
• diarrhea
• floating feces (high fat content - lighter than water)
• feces has oily appearance due to excess lipids
• especially foul-smelling feces
• vitamin D level is low (this requires a test. The body uses fat to adsorb vitamin D)

These were my indicators, there are numerous others: jaundice, pain in the upper abdomen, nausea, vomiting, heartburn, pulmonary embolism to name a few.

It pretty much takes a CT scan or PET scan to "see" if there is a problem.

I felt I owe it to you to remind you to be on the alert for all kinds of cancer.

I am using a "blend" of modern medicine and your prayers to fight the beast and stay well. So far it is working remarkably well and I would like to stay with this plan for now.

adieu.

ricky

It's that time of the year

Merry Christmas to you and me!

It's beginning to look alot like Christmas ….

I am so happy to still be around for Christmas 2013 and seeing in the New Year 2014. I was never sure what to expect about being present for these holidays. My goal is to be around for several more.

Merry Christmas to me because it has been wonderful. This year we are hosting Schrag Christmas in Pennsylvania and enjoying the heck out of it!!!

Of course grandson Owen - who turned three months old on Sunday - is the center of our attention. Who cares about shoofly pie or horses and buggies or other Lancaster County traditions? We have the cutest, smartest baby in our midst. I am looking for a bumper sticker that says: "My 3-month-old grandson is an honor student". He will be going to Harvard University in just a few years. Right now, in fact, he is helping grandma Barb play Scrabble against uncle Charles while his mom and dad are in the kitchen cooking up a wild rice dish for Christmas dinner.

We've had alot of fun mixing cultures such as having scrapple McMuffins for breakfast; a new blending of Dutch and "English" (muffins). And Barb and Charles made yummy lefsa for a nice Scandinavian touch.

Grandma and Owen "conversing"

The Family is Happy!

Ricky's dome. Off chemo for five weeks,  I gave my Gillette Mach 3 a rest
and presented myself as a gift to my family as a Chia Pet: Chia Ricky.

With no chemo infusions for the past five weeks I am feeling great. My appetite is very good. I have no diet restrictions and just keep popping the Creon enzyme pills to help with digestion. My weight is stable. I attribute my avoidance of any colds and flu largely to the fact that I get plenty of rest and drink lots of fluids. As someone with pancreatic cancer I couldn't ask to be feeling any better. I will start chemo again on Thursday, December 26. :-(    Oh well, I have to keep on top of fighting this unwelcome guest.

I have been posting less than I probably should but am very aware of the importance of letting you know my status. In an earlier post I mentioned that writing a blog is not my favorite activity, but am so thankful that I can connect with you this way and will not abandon it. I realize how much I am blessed by it and how important it is to me on several levels.

Next to God Incarnate the greatest gift I have this Christmas is your encouragement, prayers and expressions of concern and love. Come to think of it … your gifts ARE God Incarnate!!!! What was I thinking? I only wish there was some way to give you all gifts as meaningful and special in return!

My wish is that each of you are having as great a sleigh ride as I am.

For now Barb and I and family wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and Peace in the New Year.

Two years and counting

Dear faithful followers,
Greetings from your delinquent blogger.
I've waited for some time to give you my "quarterly" report. It is time to tell you that I am

             … happy …. no,
                  …  euphoric …
                      … amped…
                          … pumped …
                                … stoked …

[pick and add the modern vernacular noun of your choice]

about my most recent (Nov. 13) CTscan results: the tumor is stable! No activity. It is the same size. No metastasis. No sign of rebel terrorist cancer cells attacking some other part of my body. I am just plain "pleased as punch" (to quote Hubert Humphrey).

Dr. Yee orders CTscans every 90 days (hence "quarterly reports") and they just keep rolling in on the positive side. What great news for me. It is a most pleasant cycle of reports which I hope will keep on keeping on.

Two years ago this coming Tuesday before Thanksgiving I got the phone call from my PCP that I had a mass on my pancreas. Almost instantly a thick heavy cloud came over me. I mean it was very dark below this hanging cloud with very little light coming through. I knew in my mind that the sun was still shining on the other side of the low, dense cloud - but for a few days I saw very little light. I didn't get the actual "official" cancer diagnosis until December 2011, but I was never very hopeful that the test would show a cancer-free mass on the pancreas. I had never heard of a mass on the pancreas NOT being cancerous.

Amazingly, miraculously over the past two years the cloud has lifted and thinned and broken up into much smaller fluffy clouds. This past week the skies have been clear with the sun shining brightly.

Along with the fabulous "pictures" of my gut came a good lab report on the blood serum cancer test CA19-9. Here are my most recent results. The lower the number, the better the report. Notice the downward trend. Yippeeee!

116.6 unit/mL Date Nov. 20, 2013 - High 

134.8 unit/mL Date Nov. 11, 2013 - High 

172.4 unit/mL Date Oct. 30, 2013 - High 

174.5 unit/mL Date Oct. 23, 2013 - High 

181.8 unit/mL Date Oct. 16, 2013 - High 

After some complaining by me about the side effects of chemo, Dr Yee agreed to change my treatments from once a week — three weeks on, one week off — to:  two weeks on, two weeks off. I have just finished my first two weeks on and will not go back for chemo until Dec. 11 and 18. My chemo is on Wednesdays in Hershey, PA, at the Penn State Cancer Institute.

Over the two years I have found and collected several "cancer" blogs/CaringBridge journals, etc. and created my own folder bookmarked on my browser titled "cancer blogs". That in itself is a rather sad, dark story. But, naturally, through these blogs we who have been stricken with cancer can follow each others journeys and give each other encouragement and I find encouragement in reading them.

Writing a blog is not easy for me and honestly not that much fun. I resonated with the feeling shared by a fellow cancer blogger who wrote that if he had known he was going to live this long he would not have started blogging so soon!!

But, I AM happy to share great news and, when it comes, will share the sad news as well. 

Non-cancer news would be that Barb and I took a day trip to New York City yesterday to see the 2 pm performance of the off-broadway play "The Preacher and the Shrink". It was written by Merle Good, a Lancaster County Mennonite whose wife Phyllis Pellman Good wrote the "Fix It and Forget It" slow cooker cookbooks and own/operate several businesses in Intercourse. We joined a group of 54 other countians on a chartered bus. The play offers much food for thought regarding relationship and religion.

We had a great visit by South Dakotans Marlyce Miller and Janette Epp last weekend. (Thanks for the Freeman bologna, Dimock colby cheese, pepper nuts and other goodies, girls!)

We are planning on having some guests for Thanksgiving and look forward to serving up a traditional dinner. 

We both keep plenty busy. Barb especially with her work and home projects has a very full plate. Obviously, we have much to be grateful for. I am especially thankful for the many ways you bear me up.

We send all of you warmest Thanksgiving greetings and may you find happiness in the bounty of nature and your lives. 

Ceasefire ends tomorrow

I've had a nice respite from chemotherapy warfare. Wednesday my 30-day chemo fast ends.

My battle against pancreatic cancer will resume tomorrow when a new battalion of Abraxane soldiers will be deployed. These recruits will immediately start cursing through my veins yelling "get the hell out of here you damn cancer cells" ... wait ... should that have been "coursing or coarsing" thru my veins"? ... oh well.

I will be journeying up to Hershey to meet with my general, Dr. Nelson Yee, who has fresh new troops ready for action waiting in a room near a chemo chair which is waiting for me. They have been trained to make John Kerry/Obama-esque "surgical strikes" against nasty fast-growing cancer cells. (BTW, will Putin get the Nobel Peace Prize this year?) These young soldiers' missiles do occasionally miss a few C-cells and accidentally attack hair, nail, tears, nose/mouth linings and the brain.

Dr. Nelson Yee, my oncologist aka General Yee
at Hershey Penn State Cancer Institute. Check him out on You-tube.

So ... just when my hair is starting to grow again and my nails are nearly perfect and my head is mostly "out of the fog" I will start a fourth 4-week engagement deploying Abraxene soldiers. The campaign must continue because I want to see some more birthdays. Not just my own, but my grandson's as well. Look. Pictures.

Mommy Annie, dog sibling Patton, grandpa, grandma, very special child, daddy and uncle Charles.
(all slightly off-kilter - too lazy to straighten photo)

Early Sunday morning I returned from a wonderful week with family in sunny central valley of California. Barb is staying an extra week to help the new parents who are doing just great but are busy taking it all in.

Proud and happy grandpa holding Owen at about three weeks old.

Happy and proud grandma enjoying Owen.

It was so great to see the little guy and with some careful planning I totally avoided being hit by spit ups and diaper changes. Not that I wouldn't have handled those well! Just saying...

Sometimes I think of chemo acting like mole smashers .. whacking those out-of-whack, out-of control incompetent stupid idiotic cancer cells over the head. Have you ever played the smash mole game at the fair?

A thought just crossed my mind that "mole whacking" should be tried on the Democrats and spineless Republicans in the US congress as well. For me Obama's words at the food pantry yesterday sum it up best: "There are going to be differences between the parties. There are going to be differences in terms of budget priorities. But we don't need to inflict pain on the American people or risk the possibility that America's full faith and credit will be damaged just because one side is not getting its way." Hmmm. Really? ... one side is not getting its way... Is he talking about himself here?

This clever little skit hit home for me:





But I digress.

I continue to welcome your support and prayers for strength to be able to handle the side effects as I start another chemo feast and fight against cancer.

O Happy Days!!

The past few weeks have been very exhilarating.
Here is my partial list of reasons:

• Entered Grandpa-land

Owen Putnam Schrag

The Orlando and Verda branch of the Schrag family tree has sprouted a new branch!
In case you didn't already know — Sunday, Sept. 22 we welcomed our first grandchild into this world: Owen Putnam Schrag. He was born to Adam and Annie in Fresno, California. Barb and I are very excited and proud. We can't wait to see, feel, touch, smell him! That will happen from Oct. 4 to Oct 12 for me with Barb extending her visit until Oct. 19 as she is eager to help the young parents with baby care.

Over the years I often thought that my name combined with "grandpa" sounded contradictory or clashed. My name — Ricky — is very casual/unsophisticated/light sounding. "Grandpa" is mature sounding. But now that I have become "Grandpa Ricky" I am just fine with it!!! I realize I may not be grandpa but could end up with one of these titles or maybe something entirely new. Who knows.

He's a hairy little feller

gramps
papa
umpa
poppy
pop
opa
bompa
bumpy
grumpy
grampa
grandpa

Baby, mom and dad are doing well. Owen's other grandma, Cathy, from St. Cloud, MN, is visiting and helping now. We will tag team with her this Saturday.

• Breaking Bad (Chemo vacay)

I completed three cycles of chemo on Sept. 11. I was becoming rather weary and worn down by it. The Abraxane zapped me pretty hard and had a cumulative effect over the 12 weeks I was on it. Fatigue and a general feeling like I was in a "fog" was the main problem. Any project or chore I wanted to do seemed to take twice as long to complete! What should have taken half an hour to do took an hour - maybe two!!

I emailed Dr. Yee to ask if he thought it would be okay to take a chemo break since we are planning a trip to California and I wanted to have more energy and give my body a chance to heal. He said that would be fine. Yippee! So I have been slowly "coming out of the fog" as the effects of chemo gradually wane. It's great.

• Tumor marker descends

In related exciting news my blood tumor marker fell below 100 to 95.5! This also pleased Dr. Yee and helped in the decision to take the chemo vacation.

• Fall

The cooler, drier air is most welcome. I love it. Open up the windows. Get under the covers.

• Wonderful weekends

After spending much of the summer at home, Barb and I have recently gone on several very pleasant weekend excursions:

Labor Day weekend we enjoyed Harpers Ferry, WV

We had a wonderful day trip to worship and tour Washington National Cathedral (post card photo)
with Mary Martens and Sharon Nelson.

Spent a pleasurable Sunday afternoon and evening at The Vineyard at Grandview near  Mt. Joy
with music by Stray Birds and Vinegar Creek Constituency. Yes, wine was for sale and imbibed.
Thank you Torrie Martin and Dennis Maust for the great company

The Vineyard at Grandview is a beautiful setting.

• Trip to visit family, friends

Flying out to San Francisco Oct. 4 and meeting son Charles there flying in from Seattle, renting a car and driving to Fresno to stay for about 10 days. Anxious to meet Owen and visit new parents Adam and Annie, dog Patton, and the Janzens as well as others.

• Bumper candy corn crop

Ample rain and ideal weather conditions this year have resulted in a 2013 candy corn crop bonanza!! The grocery store shelves are bursting forth with yellow, orange and white!! It's a beautiful thing. The candy pumpkin crop looks very promising as well. I may try to bake a candy pumpkin pie. But chicken candy corn noodle soup does not sound very good.

That's it for now. Thanks for your interest in my life. I am thankful for all you great friends.

A winning combination ...

A very real, winning combination — chemo and your intercessions.

I got some good news today. The CTscan taken on Monday shows the mass on my pancreas is stable. It is virtually unchanged from three months ago and not sending out any "strands" of cancer..... AANNDDDD ... the tumor blood marker is dropping.

How is this possible? ... thousands of dollars worth of chemo and your prayers. Thank you.

I've been a firm believer in the power of intercessory prayer for some time. And now I've become fully convinced that chemotherapy works. It's been proven to me by my situation. The fact that the tumor remains stable after this long is proof to me. Not that I ever really doubted that it does some good. My question was "how much does it help?" My oncologist, of course, has always had a good share of confidence in his cocktail prescriptions, but even he has never been cocky about it or made any claims of success, realizing that different people have different results.

Immediately following today's consult with Dr. Yee I went to the infusion room and started my third cycle of Abraxane — once a week for three weeks and then one week off.

I have some mild side effects but nothing too serious. It does take some zip out of me. So I just keep resting when I get tired. I also have frequent runny nose - lots of Kleenex. Frequent diarrhea. Partially from a compromised pancreas and partially from chemo. Not sure of the proportions. I also still experience occasional neuropathy.

The doctor was pleased with this downward trend in my blood tumor marker. So are we.

Now for more news of the absurd.

The very same minor league AAA baseball team that installed gaming urinals in their ball park mens restrooms recently had a free funeral package giveaway!!!

I was not the lucky winner. I don't have the long-term storage available that the casket would have required. (Just kidding. I never entered this contest.)

Here is the article that was in our local Lancaster Intelligencer/NewEra newspaper.

Lehigh Valley IronPigs putting fun in funeral;

team giving away casket, service and tombstone

The Associated Press
on August 19, 2013 at 10:09 PM

ALLENTOWN, Pa. -- From the minor-league baseball club that gave you the world's first urinal gaming system comes a promotion that's more 6 feet under than it is over the top: One "lucky" fan will win a free funeral package.

The Triple A affiliate of the Philadelphia Phillies, the Lehigh Valley IronPigs, plans to announce the winner of its latest, and perhaps most bizarre, fan giveaway at Tuesday night's game in Allentown.

Minor-league clubs are notorious for the wacky promotions they run to help put fans in the seats, and the IronPigs are no exception. Earlier this year, the team boasted about the new gaming system it had installed in men's restrooms at Coca-Cola Park.

But a free funeral? Talk about burying the competition.

"It's one of our best out-of-the-box promotions. Or maybe I should say one of our best 'in-the-box' promotions," quipped IronPigs General Manager Kurt Landes.

Fans had to submit an essay describing their ideal funeral and explain why they deserved a free one. More than 50 essays were turned in.

Some of the contestants took a lighthearted approach. A fan of movie Westerns wrote how his funeral would feature the "William Tell Overture" and a photo of the Lone Ranger. A woman joked that she wanted bouncers to remove mourners who weren't sufficiently mournful.

Others were far more serious. One fan, recently diagnosed with ALS, wrote how his family is watching his "life quickly draining from my body. No one was prepared, emotionally or financially, for the loss or to prepare a final memorial."

The winner of the essay contest, to be announced during the sixth inning, gets a casket, embalming or cremation, hearse, headstone, flowers and a funeral or memorial service, all valued at nearly $10,000. A nearby funeral home is the sponsor.

Lest they be accused of poor taste, the IronPigs have opted to call Tuesday night's giveaway "Celebration of Life Night." Grim reapers and tombstones are out, angelic music and a release of doves at home plate in.

"It won't become Halloween," Landes said.

.... what next? Stay tuned...

Rick